IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that nowadays there is less communication between family members. Do you agree or disagree? Give relevant examples from your experience?

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The conversations and discussions between
members
Use synonyms
 of a family
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 reduced significantly in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent times,
this
Linking Words
 is what some
people
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 say. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
, as
people
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 are getting busier
day
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 by
day
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, they do not have enough
time
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 to spend with their
families
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. Big house and
state-of the-art
Add a hyphen
state-of-the-art
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 devices have created farther distances in relations.
Although
Linking Words
 there are numerous reasons why there is a communication gap between
members
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 of the same family, the most important one is
people
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 do not have enough
time
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 for their
families
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. Mankind is so busy working hard for
tomorrows
Fix the agreement mistake
tomorrow
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 that they forget to live their
todays
Correct your spelling
days
today
.
For instance
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, in a family of 4
members
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, if both the parents are working during the
day
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 and the kids would be busy in school, they would have only
few
Change the article
a few
show examples
 hours in the evening to be together, even during
then
Linking Words
, parents and kids would be busy preparing themselves for work or school the
next
Linking Words
day
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. If at all the parents have different duty timings, they might not even see their partners for 2-3 days straight in a week. Only if
families
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 had
time
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 from their busy schedules, they would have inter-connectedness.
In addition
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,
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
 these days are too big,
further
Linking Words
 increasing the physical distance between
families
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. Each member has their own room and not one in the family knows what is happening behind the closed doors.
For example
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, some children pretend to be studying in their rooms while they might be engaged in online games in reality.
Finally
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social networking sites and mobile phones have
also
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 contributed to the reduction of communications. Despite the fact that these were introduced to increase the connection among
people
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 all over the world, it has resulted in creating distance in close relationships. Every member of the family, from kids to adults, all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them have their own devices and social media accounts, due to which they are busy chatting or texting their own friends who are miles apart
instead
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 of having a conversation with the one right
next
Linking Words
 to them. In conclusion,
people
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 these days have
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
 little conversation with their family
members
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 because some of them do not have the
time
Use synonyms
 for it while others are busy in their own world of social media or mobile phones.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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