IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#development #expansion #supermarkets #countries #business #people #closure #death #communities
The majority of
people
 in the modern age is likely to go to supermarkets because it is developed and is suited for the customers. While there are those
people
 who believe that the benefit of supermarkets will bring the local business to death, I entirely disagree because either department
store
 and local market have their advantages.
To begin
 with, the Thai population usually cooking at home, so they have to find someplace that have ingredients for them.
Furthermore
, there are many restaurants that are
waiting
Add the preposition
forwaiting
show examples
 local
people
 to use their services. According to my experience, the local market is suited for
people
 who want
a raw ingredients
Correct the article-noun agreement
raw ingredients
a raw ingredient
show examples
 like fish, meat, and beef, because I believe that the condition of the ingredients is superb and the price is not too over. Even though buyer needs to consider the condition of raw elements by themself, they are able to bring some good ingredient to their home.
However
, if there is anything that can harm the local business, it would be the varieties of goods. In a department
store
, the customer can choose any product on a shelf because the product is in almost the same condition. In Thailand,
for example
, every department
store
 has everything that the local market sells or have a better grade of goods.
Furthermore
, the customer does not have any sweat to lose because in the
store
 they always open an air-conditioning. To conclude, from the examples and reasons given, I strongly believe local businesses can survive in
this
 modern age
although
 it is tough if they want to
besides
 supermarkets.
Submitted by phantomdancing1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: