Some parents think children should do exrracurricular activitues. Others think thus will add pressure. Discuss both views and give opinion
Some people think that
after class
Add a hyphen
after-class
activities
should be done by children
, others
believe that Correct word choice
while others
this
method will stress
children
. In my opinion, I believe that giving children
extra curricular
will help in developing Add a hyphen
extra-curricular
children
’s character.
On the one hand, some parents think that children
should do extracurricular activities
after school, and I agree. In other words
, by giving children
extra activities
, children
will acquire much knowledge as long as it is not academic. For example
, studies in the US proved that students who attend extra classes
learn much more than students who are studying academically because academic classes
give them stress
so they can not perform well. Hence
, these extra activities
are crucial in order to develop children
’s skills
more efficiently. Furthermore
, attending extra classes
will improve their character and their skills
, such
as,
social Remove the comma
apply
skills
, numeracy, and literacy. This
is because they are going to study new things that will not be studied in schools which are going to be incredibly useful during their journey of life.
On the other hand
, some people say that it will stress
children
, in a way that they will not be able to study anything else at all. One reason is that children
are already overloaded with their homework and tasks that ought to be done, so children
will feel lost in thinking what
to do in their time Change preposition
about what
instead
of studying. For instance
, many schools in Japan refuse to give children
extra classes
because children
have the right to enjoy their childhood but surprisingly they found out that children
who do not have extra-curricular activities
perform better in their academic studies. Therefore
, children
should not be given extra activities
owing to the fact that they take their freedom and stress
them at the same time.
To sum up
, although
people may vary in their opinion, I think that extra-curricular activities
help children
gain knowledge and improve their skills
.Submitted by s_syedy on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly presents both sides of the argument, as well as your position, to leave no ambiguity for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph develops one clear main idea with adequate support, connecting all arguments smoothly to one another.
task achievement
Consider including a brief acknowledgement of any potential counterarguments to strengthen your discussion essays.
coherence cohesion
You have successfully included a conclusion that summarizes your position and the arguments discussed.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, with distinct paragraphs for each main point.
task achievement
You've provided relevant examples to support your points, making your argument more persuasive.