IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Countries should try to produce all the food for the population and import as little food as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, there has been a growing debate over whether countries should rely on domestic agricultural production and minimize
food
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 imports. From my perspective, I fully support
this
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 idea as it can improve public
health
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 and lessen environmental damage.
Firstly
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, producing
food
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 locally can lead to better
health
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 outcomes for citizens. Imported
food
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 often requires preservatives and extended storage periods, which may compromise its nutritional value.
In contrast
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, locally grown produce tends to be fresher and free from excessive chemical treatments.
For example
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, vegetables harvested from local farms without pesticides are more likely to support long-term
health
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 and reduce the risk of diet-related diseases.
Secondly
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, reducing
food
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 imports can help mitigate environmental problems. The transportation of goods over long distances, whether by air, sea, or road, contributes to significant carbon emissions.
This
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 accelerates climate change and depletes natural resources.
Therefore
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, countries should prioritize sustainable agriculture and only import
food
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 when it is seasonally unavailable or absolutely necessary. In conclusion, promoting local
food
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 production not only improves the
health
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 of the population but
also
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 plays a vital role in protecting the environment.
Thus
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, minimizing
food
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 imports is a wise and sustainable policy.

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Task Achievement
While your arguments are compelling, consider providing a counterargument to strengthen your position. This not only shows critical thinking but also addresses potential objections.
Task Achievement
Ensure that your examples are thoroughly explained. For instance, you could elaborate more on the health benefits of local produce to reinforce your claim.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve the flow of your essay, use more varied linking words and phrases. This can enhance reading experience and clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your argument.
Task Achievement
You presented strong points regarding health and environmental sustainability, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-sufficiency
  • trade dependency
  • food security
  • sustainable agriculture
  • local economies
  • carbon footprint
  • supply chain
  • food miles
  • agricultural sector
  • domestic production
  • import substitution
  • food sovereignty
  • global supply chains
  • trade imbalances
  • food standards
  • economic resilience
  • biodiversity
  • cultural heritage
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