IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Countries should try to produce all the food for the population and import as little food as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, it has been widely argued that nations should give a chance to local agriculture and plant
food
Use synonyms
 on their own land rather than retrieving it from overseas. From my perspective, I wholeheartedly agree with
this
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 view. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss the reasons behind my opinion before arriving at a considerable conclusion.
To begin
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 with, there are a lot of economic advantages to producing
food
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 in the
country
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 rather than getting it from outside.
For example
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, using local soil and equipment to grow vegetables and fruits is much cheaper than buying
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. To clarify, moving
food
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 from one
country
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 to another requires financial support because it needs specific tools
such
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 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 refrigerator systems to keep the
food
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 fresh. Another point worth noting, farming or planting seeds
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
country
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's land has some possible benefits to human health. For clarification, when the society starts to grow their own
food
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 they know the type of grains that they have been planted
as well as
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 the type of soil they use. To illustrate, by using their own ground they will not going to use any pesticides.
Therefore
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, it will not going to affect their health in the
long-term
Correct your spelling
long term
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.
In addition
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, in some countries when they plant
food
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 they inject it with harmful hormones to make it look tasty.
However
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, local people indeed not going to apply any harmful substance to their grains.
As a result
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, they are much more likely to have a healthy long life without any complications.
To sum up
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, I totally agree that nations should try to plant their own
food
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 rather than importing them. Because it will gain many benefits in return, starting with the
country
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's economy and ending with better health and fewer diseases.

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task achievement
Your arguments are clear, but try to develop them further and provide more specific examples or evidence to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure to follow a logical flow in your essay; transitions between paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread your essay for minor grammatical errors that can detract from your overall message.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion on the topic and provide valid reasons to support it.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction effectively sets up the argument and provides a roadmap for your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-sufficiency
  • trade dependency
  • food security
  • sustainable agriculture
  • local economies
  • carbon footprint
  • supply chain
  • food miles
  • agricultural sector
  • domestic production
  • import substitution
  • food sovereignty
  • global supply chains
  • trade imbalances
  • food standards
  • economic resilience
  • biodiversity
  • cultural heritage
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