IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teachers in the classroom.

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It is conspicuous that computer usage is proliferating in every walk of our life. Few people are afraid that they will substitute
teachers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 in the education system. I believe
teachers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 are our guides and nobody can replace them in our schools, colleges or universities. Admittedly, the computer is a
wonder
Replace the word
wonderful

The word wonder doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 machine and there is no paucity of information on the web. Every conceivable data is available to satisfy the curiosity of individuals. With its interactive capability, it’s gaining the
interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest

It seems that interests may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 of toddlers and youngsters. There are various intelligent software and simulators which enable people to grasp knowledge faster and in an easier way. Digital books are
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 available which helps individuals for having more information in no physical space. The importance of computers is irrefutable.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, every individual is inimitable and have specific needs in their studies or learning.
Teachers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 are the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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 who can understand the individuality of a pupil and guide him/her with clear concepts. Computers can ameliorate the access of knowledge but
teachers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 are the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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 who can polish the student with the right guidance. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 modern era,
teachers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 need to adapt so that they can assist their students with their great experience and
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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computer aid. In the light of
aforementioned
Correct article usage
the aforementioned

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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 points, computers are necessary as they are inundated with information to help individuals learn but at the same time
teachers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 with their adapted behaviour can give better guidance.
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 there is no exaggeration to say that
teachers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 were important in past, they hold a valuable place in
present
Add an article
the present

The noun phrase present seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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 and will be our need in future as well; nobody can take their position in the classroom.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital learning
  • Personalized guidance
  • Blended learning
  • Remote education
  • Emotional intelligence
  • Human interaction
  • Cultural dimension
  • Mentorship
  • Critical thinking
  • Educational technology
  • Learning outcomes
  • Role model
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