Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic: There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays? Use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.
Nowadays, there are many different types of
music
in our world. Why music
is listened by
Change preposition
to by
people
. The traditional
Correct article usage
Traditional
music
is more important then
Replace the word
than
the
international. Some Correct article usage
apply
people
argue that in
traditional Change preposition
apply
one
is less important. It’s argued that traditional music
is has
more important. In my point of view, we have so interesting Change the verb form
has
knowledges
in Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
music
industry.
Add an article
the music
To begin
with international music
. There are a lot of kinds of music
in all countries. Such
as Pop, Rock, Hip-Hop, Dancing, Club, etc. this
music
sometimes become
suddenly Change the verb form
becomes
mega popular
in the world. Add a hyphen
mega-popular
Furthermore
, it quickly become
unpopular or forgotten Change the verb form
becomes
for example
one
Korean guy created Add a hyphen
mega-popular
mega
popular record and it was popular Correct article usage
a mega
during
Change preposition
for
one
year. Therefore
, it brought establishing Add an article
a monument
monument
in Fix the agreement mistake
monuments
one
Korean city. Since it lost its famous popularity, we have not heard anything from this
Korean singer.
Indeed the traditional music
has profound
origin and Add an article
a profound
stay
like Change the verb form
stays
grey
cardinal. Each country or nation has Add an article
a grey
own
kind of Correct pronoun usage
its own
music
and lyrics with profound history and big events, which gave enormous changing
. Replace the word
changes
For instance
, Ukrainian Kozaks went forward to battle they sang own
song “ I will never give up without Correct pronoun usage
their own
fight
” – it inspired and had Add an article
a fight
big
influence. That led to victories.
Add an article
a big
However
traditional music
is bringing culture
of each nation and country. It is learned by school, art-school and universities. Add an article
the culture
a culture
This
allows young people
have
Fix the infinitive
to have
awareness
Replace the word
aware
Change preposition
of a
a
history and inhering from the past.
In Correct your spelling
of
conclusion
traditional Add a comma
,conclusion
music
has bigger
influence Correct article usage
a bigger
in
worldwide Change preposition
apply
then
international. As we know in international Correct your spelling
than
music
is popular and suddenly changeable. Young people
firstly
study traditional music
also
after that may change own taste to international music
. But traditional music
always stays popular even though we do not see it.Submitted by suport.l2.ads on
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Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.