IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution.

#people #car #transportation #over-reliance #cars
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People
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 are becoming dependent on personal
cars
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 for a variety of reasons.
However
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,a number of
problems
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 can be associated with
this
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 behaviour. I believe that heavy traffic and pollution are the most significant
problems
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 related to extra reliance on vehicles, and these issues can be solved if governments plan to invest in public
transport
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. If
people
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 use private
transport
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 frequently
then
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 the main concerns would be smoke and heavy traffic.
For example
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, in metropolitan cities,
people
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 travel to their offices by using
cars
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, and many freeways are packed with vehicles during peak hours.
Moreover
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, clouds of smoke can be seen everywhere, and sometimes it would be hard to see a few hundred meters away. So, it will not only push
people
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 to use private
cars
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, but it will
also
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 create health
problems
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 related to smoke. Public
transport
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 can easily resolve these concerns because of many reasons.
Firstly
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, if governments try to build
transport
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 infrastructure where buses and trains are available in every suburb,
then
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people
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 will try to avoid their own vehicles in order to save fuel and parking fees.
Secondly
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,
people
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 need to commute all the time for many personal reasons, so if these buses and trains are available until midnight,
then
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people
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 would be happy to use public
transport
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 rather than their own
cars
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. In conclusion, we examined how extra usage of private
transport
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 is causing traffic jams and pollution, and how the general public can solve
this
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 by using local
transport
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 means. In my opinion, public
transport
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 is the most appropriate solution to these
problems
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.
Submitted by imranabhc on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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