Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

One of the highly controversial issues today relates to development.

People

think they bring recent technic altogether. Whereas, other

people

consider that it is taking apart. In

this

essay, I will discuss both sides of view and suggest my opinion. There are the reasons why individuals hope to make developed technology together.

To begin

with, it is a great effect on them.

For example

, if several nations declare that we are going to work together, their social images are improved.

Moreover

, it can accelerate their invention and development.

This

is because they can think of different opinions and perspectives. As for

this

, they are able to notice tiny things or crucial ideas.

Hence

, studying together is more comfortable than oneself.

On the other hand

people

who research their technology on their own

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

some benefits.

Initially

, they can do researching themselves.

In particular

, they do not want to interrupt someone while they hard to study. Meanwhile, they could be more focused on their work.

In addition

, it does not make conflict between each society.

For instance

, when both countries have to search together, they might wonder that another one is not good at doing

this

Such

this

situation,

people

always think about which is the better. After that, they might argue or conflict. To sum up, both sides of the ideas are possible to say and have a lot of advantages respectively. In my opinion,

people

have to bring up modern skills each other because it is more effective than independent and the study may proceed speedily.

Submitted by ryohei.o532 on Thu Oct 07 2021

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

258 words

8.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

connectivity
communicate
social media
virtual meetings
global community
isolation
distract
face-to-face interaction
personal connections
dependency
technology addiction
digital divide

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Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

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