Some people have argued that video games are a waste of time, and people should spend their time and money on better hobbies. Do the advantages of video games outweigh the disadvantages ?
Over the
last
few decades, it has been a subject matter that people
are killing their time
by playing online games
, and there are several other beneficial aspects to capitalize on. Although
there are some positive sides of video
games
, such
as communication and learning new skills, from my point of view, negative effects would prevail due to
aspects of health and time
.
On the one
hand, playing video
games
makes people
near to each other even though there are thousands of kilometers
between them. To explain, Change the spelling
kilometres
people
from one
side of the globe can communicate with one
from the other side through video
games
, which also
enhance the friendship among nations and cultures. One
of the most popular games
globally is pubg, for instance
, that have players from over 150 countries.
In addition
, artificial games
allow us to improve several skills. In the era of technology, playing video
games
helps human beings to get the hang of gadgets, like computers, smartphones, and so forth. Having a variety of difficulties and situations in games
teaches us to endure hardships and makes us flexible to such
conditions.
On the other hand
, i
believe that it has a more negative impact on Change the capitalization
I
people
. Sitting in front of the screen for long hours would lead to serious brain illnesses, making it weaker, as the light that comes out from the screen affects not only the brain but also
the whole body. Sedentary
lifestyle Add an article
A sedentary
also
brings on obesity problems, which eventually might end up with serious disasters.
Moreover
, video
games
are a very time
-consuming activity, and with them, life could become fast-paced. It is undeniable that while
playing games
, people
could not
notice how Wrong verb form
cannot
time
flies. Recent studies show that amateur players spend approximently
7 hours daily Correct your spelling
approximately
to entertain
with computers. Change the verb form
entertaining
Instead
, youngsters could devote their time
to other hobbies, which are far more beneficial than computer games
.
To conclude
, despite several facts in favor
of Change the spelling
favour
video
games
like international communication and new skills, in my opinion, the importance of health and time
is further
important. Hence
, the advantages of this
phenomenon would surpass the disadvantages.Submitted by abdulaziz on
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task achievement
You have provided a clear response to the prompt and offered both advantages and disadvantages of video games. However, your position could be more explicitly stated and consistently supported throughout the essay.
task achievement
Try to ensure that each main idea is fully developed and supported with detailed examples. The paragraph discussing health impacts could benefit from more specific evidence or scenarios.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured, with distinct paragraphs that build your argument. Ensure that transitions between paragraphs and ideas are smooth to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
You have a strong introduction and conclusion, but try to make your thesis statement in the introduction even clearer. This helps guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
task achievement
Your argument is balanced, presenting both the positives and negatives of video games, which shows a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
You use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures effectively, which enhances the readability of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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