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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #park #first #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The maps depict the alterations of two different layouts of Grange Park in 1920 and the current year.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that some new features replacing some sites,
such
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 as a cafe and a play area.
However
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, the main amenities remain the same, which only underwent several renovations and relocations, including the stage. In 1920, there was a water
fountain
Use synonyms
 directly across the entrance that was close to the glasshouse, which is positioned in the middle of the park.
Additionally
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, the left side of it had a stage for musicians, which was surrounded by two rose gardens and four seating areas.
Moreover
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, an additional rose
garden
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 and a seating area were situated on the right side of the
fountain
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, which was set apart by a pond for water plants. In the present time, the entire stage experienced an expansion becoming an enormous amphitheatre for concerts alongside one rose
garden
Use synonyms
 up to it,
while
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 the other seating areas and a rose
garden
Use synonyms
 are relocated neatly to the centre of the park replacing the original
fountain
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.
Furthermore
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, the glasshouse has been diminished to add a new water feature as a
fountain
Use synonyms
 replacement and an underground entrance for cars.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the cafe and a children's play are constructed and altered the initial features, which were a rose
garden
Use synonyms
 and a pond.
Submitted by hanalyaa29 on

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task achievement
Consider clearly defining all terms for the reader's benefit. For instance, stating what constitutes the 'main amenities' could improve understanding.
coherence cohesion
Include a more explicit conclusion summarizing the changes or emphasizing their significance.
task achievement
The essay offers a clear and comprehensive comparison of the park in 1920 and the present.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is well-maintained, allowing the reader to easily follow the description of changes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alterations
  • renovations
  • modernize
  • upgraded
  • transformed
  • landscaping
  • facilities
  • amenities
  • preservation
  • heritage
  • green spaces
  • eco-friendly
  • public space
  • community impact
  • historical elements
  • conservation
  • recreational areas
  • urban planning
  • sustainable development
  • layout
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