IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

With a growing world population, one of the most pressing issues is that of feeding such a large number of people. Some people think that GM foods offer a viable solution to this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#world #population #people #gm #foods #offer
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
With the advancement of technology, the mortality rate has dropped resulting in an overall larger population as compared to decades before. The main problem that arises from
this
Linking Words
 overpopulation is the ability or the inability to feed the growing inhabitants. Some people think that resorting to genetically modified food is the answer.
However
Linking Words
, I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 notion, as it will cause more harm than it does good. For
starters
Add a comma
,starters
show examples
 many people believe genetically modified foods are the way to go because they will always be readily available. Whatever the season, the crops will be able to grow and thereby there will never be the question of food shortages.
For example
Linking Words
, fruits like apples, oranges, and grapes all grow in a particular season.
However
Linking Words
, if these fruits are produced genetically the public can consume them all year round.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the drawback of
these genetically modified produce
Change the determiner
this genetically modified produce
show examples
 is the fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the public
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not know what ingredients are available in these products. As they are genetically produced, only
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientists are aware of their
creation
Replace the word
creative
show examples
 methods.
This
Linking Words
 makes the crowds sceptical of the product.
Secondly
Linking Words
, as these crops are produced genetically, there is a greater chance they will be immune to antibiotics, which will result in
greater
Add an article
a greater
the greater
show examples
 number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals risking the chance of an infection. In conclusion, I feel that genetically modified crops are not the way to go, because
although
Linking Words
 they will solve the obvious difficulty of feeding an overpopulated nation, they could in fact lead them to other
health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
show examples
 problems.
Submitted by Nigelvictorlawrence on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: