At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation

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Nowadays, the vast majority of the population of some countries includes mainly young generations as opposed to older

people

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. In my opinion, there are more advantages to

this

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phenomenon than disadvantages. On the one hand, young

people

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cannot be as successful as old

people

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in certain works. Old

people

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often spend most of their lives at work and they can have more valuable information and details and

also

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they can have more experience in certain things.

In contrast

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, young employees cannot have enough knowledge and it can be challenging for them to solve problems in their workplaces.

As a result

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, older

staff

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can have

necessary

Correct article usage

the necessary

show examples

skills for facing the challenges compared to young ones.

On the other hand

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, there are some advantages to having more young residents.

Firstly

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, having an old population can damage the economy adversely.

For example

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, if a company has a young

staff

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, they can make new innovations to gain more profit. Young

people

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usually have new ideas, and they can think about more effective ways for making new products which can be enticing for consumers and

this

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can lead to the development of the company.

Additionally

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, young employees work more

productive

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productively

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than older ones. Young

people

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are healthy and healthy

staff

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means increased productivity.

For instance

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, old workers often become nervous when something gets wrong,

while

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young employees can fully focus on their work and try to do their best.

As a result

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, the young

staff

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works more prolific and

this

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can have a positive impact on the economy of the company.

To sum up

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while

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having

young

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a young

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population can have disadvantages

such

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as having less experience, I think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages.

Submitted by Name_1234 on Wed Apr 17 2024

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Example Use

In your essay, you've made a clear argument for why you believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of having a youthful population. Consider expanding on your ideas with more specific examples to strengthen your argument further.

Balance & Depth

Try to offer a balanced view by exploring the disadvantages in greater detail. This will enhance your essay's depth and show a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Transitions

For coherence and cohesion, you've structured your essay well with a logical flow. However, working on smoother transitions between paragraphs could improve readability and reinforce the cohesion of your arguments.

Introduction & Conclusion

Your introduction and conclusion effectively bookend your essay, clearly stating your opinion and summarizing your main points.

Argument Clarity

You successfully highlighted the advantages of having a younger population, emphasizing innovation and productivity, which shows clear and comprehensive thinking.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

279 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

demographic
workforce
productivity
innovation
skilled labor
social development
technology
dividend
competition
resources
social welfare
unrest
instability
healthcare
elderly care

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Write a letter to the manager of the organisation where you have been working. In your letter: describe the work you have been doing explain why you can no longer do this work recommend another person who is interested in the work

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believ that they should be free to work in another country if they wish.

Some people think governments should make university education free, but others think students should pay fees by themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

n many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many people go to university for academic study. More people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?