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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation
Nowadays, the vast majority of the population of some countries includes mainly young generations as opposed to older
people
. In my opinion, there are more advantages to
this
 phenomenon than disadvantages. On the one hand, young
people
 cannot be as successful as old
people
 in certain works. Old
people
 often spend most of their lives at work and they can have more valuable information and details and
also
 they can have more experience in certain things.
In contrast
, young employees cannot have enough knowledge and it can be challenging for them to solve problems in their workplaces.
As a result
, older
staff
 can have
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
show examples
 skills for facing the challenges compared to young ones.
On the other hand
, there are some advantages to having more young residents.
Firstly
, having an old population can damage the economy adversely.
For example
, if a company has a young
staff
 , they can make new innovations to gain more profit. Young
people
 usually have new ideas, and they can think about more effective ways for making new products which can be enticing for consumers and
this
 can lead to the development of the company.
Additionally
, young employees work more
productive
Change the word
productively
show examples
 than older ones. Young
people
 are healthy and healthy
staff
 means increased productivity.
For instance
, old workers often become nervous when something gets wrong,
while
 young employees can fully focus on their work and try to do their best.
As a result
, the young
staff
 works more prolific and
this
 can have a positive impact on the economy of the company.
To sum up
,
while
 having
young
Correct article usage
a young
show examples
 population can have disadvantages
such
 as having less experience, I think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages.
Submitted by Name_1234 on

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Example Use
In your essay, you've made a clear argument for why you believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of having a youthful population. Consider expanding on your ideas with more specific examples to strengthen your argument further.
Balance & Depth
Try to offer a balanced view by exploring the disadvantages in greater detail. This will enhance your essay's depth and show a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Transitions
For coherence and cohesion, you've structured your essay well with a logical flow. However, working on smoother transitions between paragraphs could improve readability and reinforce the cohesion of your arguments.
Introduction & Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively bookend your essay, clearly stating your opinion and summarizing your main points.
Argument Clarity
You successfully highlighted the advantages of having a younger population, emphasizing innovation and productivity, which shows clear and comprehensive thinking.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
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