IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Research shows that global warming is caused by human activity.what are the possible effects of climate change and what can governments and individuals do to reduce these

5.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
Climate
crisis
Fix the agreement mistake
crises
show examples
 have been brought about by the lifestyle we lead studies have proved
this
Linking Words
 but there are ways humanity and the government can reverse
this
Linking Words
 problem.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
Linking Words
with
Add a comma
,with
show examples
 global heating is 99
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 attributable to human activity,specifically
burning
Correct article usage
the burning
show examples
 of fossil fuels
such
Linking Words
 as coal,oil and gasoline leading to
pollution
Use synonyms
thus
Linking Words
 causing overheating
this
Linking Words
 results
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 climatic changes whereby heavy rainfall,extreme droughts/famine and hot waves are experienced.
Body paragraph 2
Global warming has caused major damages to our health a number of diseases are thought to be brought about by the overheating that we have so much contributed to ,in
africa
Change the capitalization
Africa
show examples
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
show examples
for example
Linking Words
 cutting down of
trees
Use synonyms
 and burning them
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
 to have charcoal
this
Linking Words
 has contributed to
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 rains and
pollution
Use synonyms
 of the environment
hence
Linking Words
 causing dire issues to our well being,famine has come in as well because weather patterns have changed due to cutting down of
trees
Use synonyms
 and exhaust fumes that
as a result
Linking Words
 of burning activity
that is
Linking Words
 on-going.
Body paragraph 3
However
Linking Words
 climatic conditions can change if
effort
Add an article
the effort
an effort
show examples
 is emphasised,burning of fossil fuels should be discouraged and harsh penalties introduced and introduction of clean
energy
Use synonyms
 sources to curb environmental contamination
for example
Linking Words
, solar ,geothermal
energy
Use synonyms
 among others which are renewable sources of power
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
 less or no
pollution
Use synonyms
 is experienced
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
Cutting down of
trees
Use synonyms
 is another contributing factor which should be considered and highly discouraged,
Conclusion
Finally
Linking Words
,awareness
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 sources of
energy
Use synonyms
 should be emphasised and encouraged government will do better by being
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the forefront championing clean
energy
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
 will create a clean environment free of
pollution
Use synonyms
.Cutting down of
trees
Use synonyms
 is another contributing factor which should be
considred
Correct your spelling
considered
 as well.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • global warming
  • human activity
  • climate change
  • rising sea levels
  • natural disasters
  • ecosystems
  • biodiversity
  • weather patterns
  • agriculture
  • food shortages
  • respiratory issues
  • heat strokes
  • spread of diseases
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable practices
  • carbon footprint
  • legislation
  • public awareness
  • individual responsibility
  • greenhouse gas emissions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: