IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that women are generally more peaceful than men as their characters are naturally more nurturing than aggressive. To what extent do you agree/disagree.

#people #women #men #characters
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The role of
women
Use synonyms
 is vital to our society and It is supposed that they tend to possess gentle personalities which help them achieve a tranquil and happy
life
Use synonyms
. In my perspective, I partly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and I shall put forth some ideas to exemplify my points with lucid examples in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, the traditional role of a lady is to take care of her family, raise her offspring and assist her spouse to build a happy family. Most
women
Use synonyms
 naturally possess soft and delicate characteristics
such
Linking Words
 as honesty, caring, carefulness and so on. In fact, it is not scarce to see some wives give up their careers and become housewives to fully support their families.
As a result
Linking Words
, they may not have to encounter challenges at work or academic pressure as their counterparts and have more time for their personal hobbies.
Moreover
Linking Words
, numerous
women
Use synonyms
 are often more meticulous and realistic than men and they may find simple joys when they can cook delicious meals for their family and become a strong foundation to their husband or kids when they face obstacles.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in our even society,
women
Use synonyms
 tend to be more active and take the baton and lead their
life
Use synonyms
 as they can have equal opportunity to access to education and job market as men.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they have become less dependent on gentlemen and start to invest in their own education and career. In many developed countries, it is ubiquitous that ladies are prone to tie the knot at an older age after they achieve a stable career compared to previous decades. With even chances, girls have been more ambitious and competitive in their personal
life
Use synonyms
 as well as at the offices, which lead to the increase in stress among
women
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, while I affirm that the natural and intrinsic characteristics of
women
Use synonyms
 help them feel happy and peaceful in their
life
Use synonyms
 compared to men,
however
Linking Words
, females nowadays are more competitive and ambitious compared to the past.
Submitted by npanhtuan09 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: