IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#countries #people #health #food #governments #tax
It is noticeable that consuming fast
food
 on a prolonged basis will
develope
Correct your spelling
develop
 various
dieseaes
Correct your spelling
diseases
. To tackle
this
 problem, some countries plan to increase
tax
 on fast
food
.
However
,
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
tax
 would improve
this
 situation or not.
Imposting
Correct your spelling
Imposing
Importing
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
tax
 on fast
food
 only has a
maginal
Correct your spelling
marginal
magical
 impact on preventing
people
 from eating too much junk
food
. For some
people
,the low
price
 of fast
food
 is not a primary reason for them to choose
this
 kind of
food
. Most of them prefer fast
food
instead
 of healthy
food
 just because they put the
convenice
Correct your spelling
convenience
 on a higher priority than health.
Therefore
,
although
 an
increasement
Correct your spelling
increment
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
tax
 will result in a higher
price
, many consumers still choose fast
food
.
On the other hand
,some
people
 choose fast
food
 because they do not have alternatives. Healthy
food
such
an
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 organic
food
, usually have a higher
price
 which might not be affordable for
people
 who have low income.
Therefore
, if the
price
 of fast
food
 goes higher, they will be much fewer choices of
food
 for them, which will eventually lead them to a harder life. Compared with increasing
tax
, making healthy
food
 more convenient and more affordable to citizens might be a better solution for the government.
For example
, governments should offer subsidies to farmers who provide healthy products
such
 as fruit and vegetables so that consumers can buy healthy
food
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 lower
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
.
In addition
, spending budget on promoting
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
 lifestyle through education and
trainning
Correct your spelling
training
 to consumers is another practical solution for the problem caused by fast
food
. In conclusion,to cope with health
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
 caused by an excessive
consumtion
Correct your spelling
consumption
 of fast
food
, the government should focus on reducing the
price
 of healthy
food
 and advertising the healthy
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 to the citizens, rather than simply charging a higher
tax
 on fast
food
Submitted by tantika.l on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • heart disease
  • health outcomes
  • healthcare costs
  • consumer behavior
  • socio-economic backgrounds
  • ethical implications
  • public health campaigns
  • subsidies
  • regulations
  • nutritional content
  • healthier food options
  • government intervention
What to do next:
Look at other essays: