Some health professionals suggest that older people spend more time socializing with others and playing sports to stay healthy, but many retired people have experienced loneliness and a lack of fitness. Why has this happened? What can be done to address this?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
People
Use synonyms
tends
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
to adapt to a specific routine in their lifestyle as they
age
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
can be seen
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
life
Use synonyms
of
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
.Few health practitioners
opines
Change the verb form
opine
show examples
that there are
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
group of old
people
Use synonyms
who loves to interact and spend time enjoying outdoor activities, in order to remain active.
Similarly
Linking Words
, there are older
people
Use synonyms
who
tends
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
to remain low in their
life
Use synonyms
, which means less contact with others and being lethargic. There can be certain underlying reasons for
this
Linking Words
.
Such
Linking Words
as; situations in
life
Use synonyms
, health issues,
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
choices or financial constraints. When an individual does not get what he/she has expected in his/her
life
Use synonyms
they turn out to be frustrated and depressed in their later stages of
life
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
survey
Add an article
a survey
show examples
conducted by WHO found that
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
eighty
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of
elderly
Add an article
the elderly
show examples
population in the US are in depression due to their goals not
met
Add a missing verb
being met
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
their younger
age
Use synonyms
. These
people
Use synonyms
end up being secluded and are prone to various health issues.
However
Linking Words
, when a person
maintain
Change the verb form
maintains
show examples
a positive outlook towards
Use synonyms
life
Add an article
the life
a life
show examples
they are prone to
acheive
Correct your spelling
achieve
success sooner or later in their
life
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
is
reason
Add an article
the reason
a reason
show examples
why they grow out to become
happier
Add an article
a happier
the happier
show examples
and cheerful
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
in the later stage of their
life
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
survey
Add an article
a survey
show examples
conducted by Mount Rupel university has stated that elderly
people
Use synonyms
who
tends
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
to be energetic have been always positive and focussed as
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
were in their younger
age
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
, these elements help them to lead
quality
Add an article
a quality
show examples
life
Use synonyms
as they progress with
age
Use synonyms
. In order to curb
this
Linking Words
issue,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
can initiate to come up with
ceratin
Correct your spelling
certain
show examples
plans for the
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
population
such
Linking Words
as; retirement plans, elderly fun package, free services etc that can boost their mood and help them lead a quality
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by vineethec on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: