Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money ? What other factors contribute towards happiness?

Nowadays, many believe that having wealth is a major reason why

people

can feel joy while others believe they can be satisfied without having much cash. Personally, I agree with the latter opinion as there are other aspects of life that can

also

make us cheerful

such

as having social interactions and having control over our reactions towards unfortunate situations.

This

essay will extensively discuss how the aforementioned ideas play a role in making many

people

smile.

To begin

with, humans are

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social

being

Fix the agreement mistake

beings

show examples

by nature who have the physical ability to feel joy when interacting with other humans.

This

means that

people

are born to have relationships with others.

Moreover

, anatomically speaking, by talking to other

people

and developing relationships, the human brain releases hormones,

such

as dopamine and serotonin, which are claimed to

be induce

Change the verb form

induce

show examples

happiness. In fact, a journal from Cambridge Psychology in 1995 has proven the claim to be true after observing the subjects' dopamine levels before and after being placed in a group scenario.

Hence

, from the scientific point of view, social interaction is indeed a factor that induces contentment.

Furthermore

, how individuals control their reactions to undesirable events in life, helps in determining how satisfied they are feeling.

Moreover

, there are practices, like anger management therapies or meditations, that the public

adopt

Change the verb form

adopts

show examples

in order to equip themselves with a better outlook to ill-fated

occassions

Correct your spelling

occasions

For instance

, when having a bad day at work and feeling extremely upset, I prefer to sit down and take a few deep breaths

Change preposition

show examples

an effort to calm myself down. By being determined to not feel any more distressed for the rest of the day, I have managed to feel happier.

Thus

, when one chooses to have a positive mind

instead

of being pessimistic, we are able to think clearly and find contentment in any situation. In conclusion, a majority of the population may firmly believe that satisfaction comes from having

abundance

Add an article

an abundance

show examples

of money.

Although

it might be true to an

extend

Replace the word

extent

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, I believe money does not hold the biggest impact on one's cheerfulness. As proven by the explanation above, being able to bond with others and

having

Change the form of the verb

have

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

better management of our minds and actions have shown to be effectively making

people

smile too.

Submitted by florencia.frederica on Fri Oct 08 2021

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

377 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Promoting happiness
Essential factors
Financial stability
Material wealth
Personal fulfillment
Contentment
Basic needs
Maslow's hierarchy of needs
Social connections
Pursuing passions
Well-being
Mental health
Spiritual practices
Personal growth
Community service
Societal contribution
Philanthropy
Joy
Satisfaction
Prosperity

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Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money ? What other factors contribute towards happiness?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

Some say that music, art, and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

Relocating companies, factories and employees to country side provide benefits to reduce traffic jams and housing problems. To what extend do you agree?

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams. To waht extent do you agree or disagree?