IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Popular hobbies and interests change over time and are more a reflection of trends and fashions than an indication of what really want to do in their spare time. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#hobbies #interests #change #time #reflection #trends #fashions #indication
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Nowadays, new generations have adopted social media to spend more
time
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 on that, as an output it came as a failure but,
people
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 have hobbies like social
activities
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, sports and book readings are the best things to learn in their free
time
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 I strongly believe it.
To begin
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 with,
people
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 could spend more
time
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 on social
activities
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 in their leisure
time
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 and they can do anything easily.
For instance
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,
people
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 do social
activities
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 continuously, they can become familiar with those hobbies and they work on them.
Additionally
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, having hobbies
people
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 can benefit from speed, sensitivity, collaboration, quality, integration and more.
However
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, it is based on
people
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’s ideas and thoughts.
On the other hand
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,
people
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 do some sports
activities
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 in their leisure
time
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 gives them more confidence and good strength.
For instance
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, a cricket player who played for an Indian team had scored 20,000 runs in his whole career and in a recent interview, he told his secrets in two lines like: Build your confidence at a high level and put your full potential
then
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 you will succeed in your career
as well as
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 your life “Sachin Tendulkar”.
Apart from
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this
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, book readings are the best way to useful to learn history, science, novels, and mathematics.
Thus
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, we can improve our skills and knowledge by these above statements.
To conclude
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, In the modern era, particularly youngsters are wasting their
time
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 for spending social media but I strongly agree that they can utilized in sports, book readings, and social
activities
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. These can improve their knowledge and use it in a good way.
Submitted by saravanan.ko2011 on

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task achievement
Although the essay provides several examples and arguments, some ideas need deeper exploration to fully substantiate the opinion. Try to explore each idea with more detailed evidence and examples.
coherence cohesion
There are some errors in sentence structure, grammar, and vocabulary choice that affect clarity. Review sentence structure and aim for more precise vocabulary to improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
Try to maintain a consistent focus throughout the essay, ensuring ideas directly link back to the main argument posed in the question.
task achievement
The essay presents a strong viewpoint and stays on topic, focusing on hobbies and social media.
coherence cohesion
You have effectively included an introduction that sets the stage for your argument and a conclusion that summarizes your points.
task achievement
The inclusion of specific examples, such as Sachin Tendulkar's practice habits, adds value to your argument.
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