some people think money is tge best gift to youngsters, while others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #money #tge #gift #youngsters

As we all know the giving

gift

is a part of individual tradition until now but most

people

having a dilemma of choosing presents especially to the teenagers despite others claiming cash is the best.

This

essay will discuss both sides and

Change the preposition

show examples

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

show examples

if I will give the best gifts to youngsters I will offer something

that is

more useful and memorable

one

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

To begin

this

, most

people

nowadays finding difficulties in choosing the

gift

to offer because young

people

nowadays are having a number of choices in life. Even though, I will still choose to have a

gift

that is

unforgettable and useful to them every day.

For example

, my sister was celebrated her debut

last

year and

then

her phone was broken at that time, so

what

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

I did

instead

of giving her money I sent her a brand new phone as a birthday

presents

Fix the agreement mistake

present

show examples

and I’m glad that she likes it. So, money is not the precious

gift

of all. In contrary to

this

, others said that its better if the money to be given.

This

case depends upon the situation because some

people

are busy and they do not have time to look for a

gift

For instance

, they will give the cash as a present because it a hassle-free but most of the time now parents are like that. There is a chance that if you give hard cash to the young

people

or to your children there is a possibility they will spend in the wrong way.

As a result

, they will ask more and they do not understand what’s the value of it. To conclude, despite other

people

saying monetary is the greatest thing,

still

Add a comma

,still

show examples

I believe the finest

gift

you can give those worth remembering and for lifetime value.

Submitted by ding on Sat Oct 09 2021

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

300 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people think money is tge best gift to youngsters, while others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Topic: some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play\ with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the children of having a large number of toys?

Should parents be obliged to immunise their children against common childhood diseases? Or do individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children?

In some countries today, children are taught from a young age that competition is important and that winning is everything. Is this a positive or a negative development?

some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that sport teaches children how to compete,while others believe that children learn teamwork To what extent do you agree or disagree