Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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The number of people who prefer medicines and treatments rather than visiting doctors is increasing day to day. Obviously, it can be a misleading approach,

however

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, there are some advantages

such

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as creating more and more natural and harmless medicines that do not include any chemicals.

This

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essay will discuss how

this

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phenomenon can develop modern medicine

while

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harming people's health.

To begin

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with, if a person takes medicines more than usual or does not add relevant things in the right proportions, it can lead to poisoning and even to an unfortunate death.

Therefore

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, as making treatments has always been difficult and worth anyone's life, it is quite significant to be mindful and so accurate during the process.

For instance

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, the number of people suffering from illnesses who died

due to

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not visiting doctors has risen by 20% in the

last

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decade. Obviously, it is common for humans to explore

this

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world and find out new useful things just by trying and doing experiments. Unfortunately, the proportion of chemicals in modern drugs is rising and it would harm human organisms.

Thus

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, the appropriate way to solve it might be creating new mixtures of natural drugs, as they affect our bodies only positively and even cure faster.

For example

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, my grandma used to experience leg pain after she retired and decided to

instead

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of buying medicament advised by the doctor make medicament using leaves of different plants and a flower suggested by her neighbour. Surprisingly, she goes jogging every morning like in the past! In conclusion, humans should not refuse doctors' advice because they are professionals and more experienced and even ask for help to create their own medicament. So, only by trusting professionals and doing everything wisely, modern medicine can improve.

nurali_serikSun Oct 27 2024

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coherence cohesion

Improve logical flow and connections between ideas. Consider using more linking words and ensure each paragraph aligns logically with the thesis statement.

task achievement

Clarify some ideas further, especially in the second paragraph, to make your points more comprehensive. This will enhance the reader's understanding.

coherence cohesion

The essay includes an introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the argument.

task achievement

The essay provides relevant examples, such as the story about your grandma, which helps to illustrate the points being made.

task achievement

The essay addresses both the positive and negative aspects of the topic, showing a balanced perspective.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

291 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

alternative medicines
treatments
positive development
negative development
health problems
usual doctor
access
personalized approach
holistic well-being
lack of regulation
evidence-based research
proper medical treatment

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Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Your opinion

Scientists predict that all people will choose to speak the same global language in the future. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Technology is being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

‏Some people think that good health is very important to every person, so ‏medical service should not be run by profit-making companies. Do the ‏advantages of private healthcare outweigh the disadvantages.