Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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The number of people who prefer medicines and treatments rather than visiting doctors is increasing day to day. Obviously, it can be a misleading approach,
however
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, there are some advantages
such
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as creating more and more natural and harmless medicines that do not include any chemicals.
This
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essay will discuss how
this
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phenomenon can develop modern medicine
while
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harming people's health.
To begin
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with, if a person takes medicines more than usual or does not add relevant things in the right proportions, it can lead to poisoning and even to an unfortunate death.
Therefore
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, as making treatments has always been difficult and worth anyone's life, it is quite significant to be mindful and so accurate during the process.
For instance
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, the number of people suffering from illnesses who died
due to
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not visiting doctors has risen by 20% in the
last
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decade. Obviously, it is common for humans to explore
this
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world and find out new useful things just by trying and doing experiments. Unfortunately, the proportion of chemicals in modern drugs is rising and it would harm human organisms.
Thus
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, the appropriate way to solve it might be creating new mixtures of natural drugs, as they affect our bodies only positively and even cure faster.
For example
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, my grandma used to experience leg pain after she retired and decided to
instead
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of buying medicament advised by the doctor make medicament using leaves of different plants and a flower suggested by her neighbour. Surprisingly, she goes jogging every morning like in the past! In conclusion, humans should not refuse doctors' advice because they are professionals and more experienced and even ask for help to create their own medicament. So, only by trusting professionals and doing everything wisely, modern medicine can improve.
Submitted by nurali_serik on

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coherence cohesion
Improve logical flow and connections between ideas. Consider using more linking words and ensure each paragraph aligns logically with the thesis statement.
task achievement
Clarify some ideas further, especially in the second paragraph, to make your points more comprehensive. This will enhance the reader's understanding.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the argument.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant examples, such as the story about your grandma, which helps to illustrate the points being made.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the positive and negative aspects of the topic, showing a balanced perspective.

Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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