Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money-making attractions aimed at tourists. Others believe it is the only way to save the these traditions. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

It is believed by some humans that when individuals used old

culture

Use synonyms

or tradition for their personal profits or benefits and attract visitors it may result in less

important

Replace the word

importance

show examples

of old fashions. Others ,

Linking Words

however

Add the comma(s)

,however

show examples

hold the view that passing the information to others is the only way to save it. Both these views will be discussed adequately in

ensuing

Correct article usage

the ensuing

show examples

paragraphs. I will give my opinion in

conclusion

Add an article

the conclusion

a conclusion

show examples

paragraph. To commence with,

former

Correct article usage

the former

show examples

view.

Firstly

Linking Words

, if people started traditions for making money

then

Linking Words

characteristics and uniqueness of

culture

Use synonyms

will

destroyed

Change the verb form

be destroyed

destroy

show examples

. To explain it,

particular

Add an article

the particular

show examples

area has their own pattern which

distinguish

Change the verb form

distinguishes

show examples

them from others.

For example

Linking Words

, if persons use their particular skills or patterns for making their profit

then

Linking Words

it spread worldwide and these type of things become familiar with everybody and its importance automatically shrink and

number

Change the article

the number

show examples

of visitors will

decreased

Change the verb form

decrease

be decreased

show examples

In contrast

Linking Words

, individuals

attracted

Add a missing verb

are attracted

show examples

towards

Change preposition

show examples

other

Use synonyms

culture

Fix the agreement mistake

cultures

show examples

and forget their own

culture

Use synonyms

. To explain it, western-style clothes, food products and entertainments

activities

Use synonyms

become popular in some countries which may

results

Change the verb form

result

show examples

into

Change preposition

show examples

the loss of their own tradition. Because of

this

Linking Words

reason

Add a comma

,reason

show examples

profit-making

activities

Use synonyms

or other

stuffs

Change the wording

stuff

kinds of stuff

pieces of stuff

show examples

which spread the

culture

Use synonyms

is the only way to save old festivals, languages and lifestyles. To exemplify, in India some ancient

activities

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as dance and songs become extinct, if tourists arrived in that area

then

Linking Words

local people make profit from showing their skills and if they make money from old

activities

Use synonyms

then

Linking Words

they like to passed their skills and tradition to

new

Add an article

a new

the new

show examples

generation and it remained live

Linking Words

particular

Add an article

a particular

the particular

show examples

region. To conclude, I strongly opine with

later

Add an article

a later

the later

show examples

view because of latest technology people forget their ancient

activities

Use synonyms

. If these

type

Fix the agreement mistake

types

show examples

activities

Use synonyms

passed from

old

Correct article usage

the old

show examples

generation to

new

Correct article usage

the new

show examples

generation

then

Linking Words

at least

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

remained live in

local

Add an article

the local

show examples

area.

jaymoradiya5418

Oct 10, 2021

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Commercialization
Dilution of cultural traditions
Authenticity
Cultural heritage
Revenue
Financial support
Preservation
Promotion
Commodification of culture
Intrinsic value
Exposure
Global awareness
Respect and understanding
Economic gain
Local communities
Decision-making processes
Respectful portrayal

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Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money-making attractions aimed at tourists. Others believe it is the only way to save the these traditions. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people feel the best way to reduce the number of accidents on the road is to further limit the speed of vehicles. Others think that there are better ways to tackle this issue. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

All education and healthcare should be funded by the government and free for everybody. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More people decided to have children at a later age than in the past. Why? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Today, many mothers take care of the family and do not go to work. Some people believe that the government should pay them their salaries. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?