IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that intelligence is innate while others think that intelligence can be improved by learning discuss both the views and give your opinion?

#people #intelligence
As can be seen, some people believe that
intelligence
 is due to an individual's traits.
However
, others believe that it can be developed by learning new things. In my opinion, both innate and learning has largely influenced a person's brilliance. We will discuss both viewpoints in the following paragraphs.
First
 of all, people's brilliance can be influenced by their innate. Many researchers around the world said that about 50% of one's
intelligence
 is due to their genetics.
For example
, my brother is gifted in math because my father is intelligent in
this
 subject.
Therefore
, it can be said that my dad's trait is transmitted to his son. Apart from innate, personal smartness is strongly influenced by his or her environment. There are many external and internal factors relating to a child’s brain, especially education.
For instance
, if a family sends its two children to different schools: one goes to a top ten school in New York, the other goes to an ordinary school. We will see that the one who goes to a top ten schools in the city will tend to become smarter due to the higher competition among friends.
Moreover
, these schools provide more modern digital technologies equipment for these students to follow up
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
Correct your spelling
latest
show examples
lastest
Correct your spelling
latest
show examples
 technology in the world. In conclusion, personal's
intelligence
 is influenced by both genetic and environmental factors. We all know it is a
a
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
minority for people to have an
intelligence
 gene. In my opinion, if someone is born with an average level of
intelligence
, they can
also
 become successful by learning.
Submitted by chansatid on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: