Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some would argue that it is necessary for the government to give financial aid to artists,

while

Linking Words

others believe that

this

Linking Words

money should be used on other projects.

While

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funding artists

helps

Change the verb form

help

show examples

in the cultural preservation of the country, I believe that the state should redistribute the

funds

Use synonyms

to education. On the one hand, government spending on painters and sculptors is usually based on the belief that arts help with the cultural preservation of the country.

However

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, the materials used in artistic expression are expensive. Supporting them ensures that the tradition, heritage and uniqueness of the community are kept alive.

For instance

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, most provinces in the Philippines have festivals in order to celebrate their traditions and the local officials provide the

funds

Use synonyms

. Without their help, these events will not happen.

However

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, I believe that

this

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is not the best way to spend the taxpayer's money.

On the other hand

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, government officials should redistribute the

funds

Use synonyms

to improve the educational system of the nation. Lack of education is a huge problem in society and it has led to other issues

such

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as unemployment. Redistribution of wealth to improve the educational system can help decrease the educational gap in rich countries.

For instance

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, they can put more budget into building science and computer laboratories in public schools. By doing

this

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, students will be more globally competitive.

Thus

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, I believe that it is more worthwhile for the state to spend money on improving the literacy rate of the citizens. In conclusion,

although

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helping those who are working in the arts can help preserve the culture of the nation, there are more serious issues in society that need to be addressed.

Thus

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, I believe that funding the education of people is the best way to utilize public

funds

Use synonyms

yoko.oneromThu Feb 29 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay shows a logical structure and flow from introduction, through body paragraphs, to conclusion. However, aim to vary your linking phrases more to enhance coherence.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, stating your position effectively. Try to make your conclusion more robust by summarizing both views before stating your opinion.

coherence cohesion

Your essay supports main points with relevant examples and a clear line of reasoning. Consider adding more detailed examples or personal experiences to further strengthen your arguments.

task achievement

You've addressed the task by discussing both views and providing your own opinion. To score higher, ensure that your opinion is consistently clear throughout the essay, not only in the conclusion.

task achievement

Your essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas. To improve, work on expanding your ideas more evenly. Make sure the discussion on education matches the depth of your discussion on support for artists.

task achievement

You've used relevant examples to support your points. For a higher score, integrate these examples more thoroughly into your argument, showing clearly how they support your stance.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

294 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

promote
culture
creativity
economic growth
tourism
social development
personal development
merit
financial support
balanced
transparent

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Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this.

You have lost an item of value on a train. Write a letter to the railway company. In your letter: describe the item explain where and when you left it say what action you would like the company to take

Many university students live with their families, while others live away from home because their universities are in different places. Do the advantages of living away from home for university studies outweigh the disadvantages?