Although many people value their public parks, this space could be better used for other purposes such as residential areas for the ever growing population or to develop business and boost economies. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

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There is an opinion in society that spaces
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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occupied by public parks can find more efficient uses
such
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as residential blocks or business centres. I firmly disagree with
this
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idea. In
this
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essay, I plan to explain my way of viewing
this
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phenomenon.
Firstly
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, the most prominent fact that makes me think opposite to
this
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idea is green areas which are crucial for individuals as they give an opportunity to feel closer to nature.
Moreover
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, I am convinced that governments should invest in developing
such
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places.
For example
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, in my city there used to be a lot of abandoned parks that were reorganized later, and now local habitants are grateful to the authorities who did
this
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as they can find a place to walk or just to sit under the trees' shadow.
Secondly
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, if a country has a deadly hot climate,
such
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green islands become vitally required and crucial. No doubt, the more
such
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kinds of spaces we have in the neighbourhood, the clearer and oxygenated air we have. Obviously, these territories are the source of fresh air
due to
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the huge number of trees and plants.
For instance
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, I can remember the case when the park was reconstructed and
then
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there was an amusement park built
instead
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with various attractions but without greens. It was a completely failed project because no one goes there during the day, but only in the evening.
To conclude
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, I wholeheartedly believe that humanity highly needs natural environments, and business
centers
Change the spelling
centres
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and living districts can be placed anywhere else.

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Introduction Enhancement
To enhance your essay, ensure that your introduction briefly mentions both sides of the argument before stating your position. This provides a well-rounded overview of the topic to the readers.
Grammar Variation
Your essay would benefit from more varied sentence structures and a higher usage of complex grammatical constructions to demonstrate linguistic flexibility.
Specific Examples Depth
Include more specific examples to support your arguments. While you provided some, digging deeper into these examples or incorporating statistical data or studies could strengthen your argument.
Proofread
Be mindful of minor spelling or grammar errors, as they can slightly distract the reader. Proofreading more thoroughly can help polish your essay.
Thesis Statement
You have a clear thesis statement that sets a strong foundation for the rest of your essay.
Paragraph Structure
Your paragraphs are well-organized, with each one focusing on a single main idea, effectively supported by examples or explanations.
Conclusion Strength
The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay's main points and reiterates your stance on the issue, providing a strong closure.
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