Some people think that mobile phones are harmful for children, while others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
People hold different views as to whether mobile
phones
are detrimental to children
or not. In my opinion, this
depends very much on how the phones
are used and how that use is supervised as to whether they are harmful for
Change the preposition
to
children
or not. On the one hand, some people think children
can be harmed by using mobile phones
mainly because the games and apps found on phones
, which are mostly not educational, can easily become addictive. This
results in children
engaging less in healthy physical activities and spending less time on homework, both of which can have dire consequences in the long run. Furthermore
, using mobile phones
exposes children
to unmonitored social media platforms where predators might be lurking in wait by taking advantage of the anonymity offered online. On the other hand
, mobile phones
can actually protect children
by allowing parents
to track their geographical location and contact them immediately if necessary. Never before have parents
been able to know the exact whereabouts of their child
minute by minute. In addition
, the
instant communication provides essential security for Correct article usage
apply
children
in times of crisis. Lastly
, mobile phones
do allow access to educational apps specifically created for children
which, if used wisely, can further
their education. Finally
, I believe that if parents
monitor how the smart phone
is being used by their Correct your spelling
smartphone
child
, it can be beneficial for a child
's development. By blocking certain social media sites, parents
can be sure their child
is safe whilst being online. Moreover
, by
setting time limits on how long their Change preposition
apply
child
can use the phone means that it will not interfere with a child
's educational development and will avoid any form of addiction. In conclusion, children
are only at risk when using a mobile phone if they are not being supervised and are not given strict guidelines to follow which are set by their parents
. Comments: This
essay presents a clear opinion which is fully explained. Both sides have been clearly discussed. Ideas are extended and supporting points relevant
. Ideas are organised Add a missing verb
are relevant
logical
and a good range of linking words have been used. Grammar is both complex and accurate. Vocabulary is topic related and less common items are used.Change the word
logically
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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion