IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You play a team sport with some friends. Last week a member of the team had an accident and wasn't able to play with you at the weekend. You decide to write to him in hospital, telling him about the match. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, • tell him which team won • describe the conditions on the day • say how you felt about the match Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear .........,

#team #sport #friends #week #member #accident #wasn #weekend #match #friend #conditions #addresses
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Allamurod, How are you? We will surely miss you. I am writing here about the weekend
game
. Yesterday I played in the football field of the college because it is cheap, comfortable and has a friendly atmosphere, and
that
Change preposition
in that
show examples
 meeting I experienced a lot. We won the match against RR
warriors
Capitalize word
Warriors
show examples
. I was very good at defensive back, so I think I would be good for our team. I
also
 spent a lot of time training during the week.
However
, I think there are a number of decisions that need more from them. One thing we face on the front end is because of your absence.
Although
 the team tried to keep the
game
, we were lacking through the ball. I have some interesting notes on my phone and I am sure you will like them. I think it was a very happy experience for us, but we miss you so much. It was very difficult to play
this
game
 without you, especially between the posts.
Although
 the team tried to hold the
game
, we did little damage in ball traffic. I have some interesting notes on my phone and I am sure you will like them. I think it was a very happy experience for us, but we miss you.
This
 makes our
game
 very difficult, especially between the posts. Get well soon and come back again. Sincerely, Ogabek
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, clear idea. Your letter contains some repetition and can benefit from a clearer structure, separating the outcomes of the match, the conditions of the day, and your personal feelings into distinct paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide more specific details about the match, such as the final score, the most memorable moments, and how the weather or environment affected the game. This will help you to fully address the task prompt and allow your friend to visualize the day.
general
Avoid repeating phrases and information. For instance, you've mentioned the difficulty of playing without your friend twice in very similar terms. Instead, explore different aspects of his absence's impact or expand on how the team adapted.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • heartfelt concern
  • vicarious victory
  • grueling match
  • unyielding spirit
  • team cohesion
  • adverse weather conditions
  • sense of camaraderie
  • indomitable spirit
  • speedy recovery
  • anticipation for your return
  • atmospheric tension
  • overwhelming support
  • strategic triumph
What to do next:
Look at other essays: