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Band 6

The government should spend more money on medical research to protect citizens' health rather than on protecting the environment. Do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #research #citizens #health #environment
There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate over the fact that it is essential for the authorities to invest more
money
 in medical findings to save residents’ well-being rather than
on
Change preposition
in
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 saving the natural surroundings.
While
this
 opinion is valid to some extent, I consider myself an advocate of it. Without a shadow of a doubt, citizens’
health
 plays a paramount significant role in the development of a nation. To be specific,
it is clear that
 dwellers are the rich
labor
Change the spelling
labour
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 workforce devoting their worth
for
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to
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 the country.
Hence
, spending more materials on medical research means the governments distribute
money
on
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to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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national prosperity. Particularly, Japan can be cited as an outstanding instance
for
Change preposition
of
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this
, the governors allocate a wealth of budget for medical research to improve the residents’ physical
health
 so that
Japanese
Correct article usage
the Japanese
show examples
 is one of the healthiest populations in the world. By doing so, the governments make a
favorable
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favourable
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condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
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 for their citizens to dedicate themselves to the nation.
Therefore
, it is necessary for the authorities to invest more
money
 in
health
 findings.
On the contrary
, it is undeniable that the natural surroundings play a paramount significant role that directly impacts
on
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apply
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human’s
Change noun form
human
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health
. To clarify
this
 idea, nowadays, there are myriad types of dangerous pollution that can cause life loss
due to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 high number in the
dangerous
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dangers
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 level and some of them even exceed the acceptable limit. To be particular, India is the most notable example
that
Correct word choice
where
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 a number of people died because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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lethal air pollution.
In other words
, protecting the environment is an indirect way to protect the settlers’ fitness.
Thus
, the environment should be spent more on the national budget.
To sum up
, it is crucial for the governors to spend more
money
 on medical
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 and nature needs to be taken into consideration too.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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