IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Living in large cities today poses many problems for people. What are these problems? Should governments encourage more people to live in smaller towns?

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People
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 who live in big cities have numerous difficulties
such
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 as a polluted environment and overpopulation. These
problems
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 can cause
further
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problems
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. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the
problems
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 related to
this
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 circumstance and suggest viable solutions.
Gravitation
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The gravitation
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 of population toward the large cities causes numerous
problems
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, the most serious of which is the steep upward trend in housing
prices
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. These days, most
of
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apply
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young
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the young
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people
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 cannot afford to buy their own house in
urban
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an urban
the urban
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area
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areas
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, and even if they buy a house, they have to borrow
huge
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a huge
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amount
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amounts
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 of money from banks to buy it. After
then
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,
long
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a long
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 time will
needed
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be needed
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 for them to repay all the loans they borrowed. In order to break
this
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 vicious cycle, the
government
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 must implement
a policies
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policies
a policy
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 to stabilize housing
prices
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.
For example
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, in Korea, to cool the housing market,
administration
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the administration
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 has introduced 24 sets of measures, focusing primarily on regulations and tax increases. After 8 months since they introduced those plans, housing
prices
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 began to stabilize, and the market had generally recovered. So to curb the upward trend of
accomodation
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accommodation
prices
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, intervention of the
government
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 is necessary. Another prominent problem is
economic
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an economic
the economic
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 imbalance between the
city
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 and the
small town
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small-town
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 region. The more
people
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 flock to the large
city
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, the better the environment is created in the large
city
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 according to the needs of the
people
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, and as a consequence of
this
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, all those who have previously lived in the countryside are trying to move to the
city
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.
This
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 phenomenon leads to imbalances between the two
region
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regions
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. In my opinion, the
government
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 should introduce a local development policy and give some incentive to
people
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 to live in
rural
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a rural
the rural
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area
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areas
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. Success stories of local revitalization policies can be found in Korea.
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Government
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The government
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 let the large company relocate their office functions to rural areas aimed at ensuring stable and quality jobs in rural areas.
Consequently
Linking Words
, new houses were built in the areas, and many train routes connecting large
city
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 and the suburb. Eventually, a myriad of
people
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 who had planned to move to
metropolitan
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the metropolitan
a metropolitan
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city
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cities
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 or
people
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 who already moved to
big
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the big
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Use synonyms
city
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cities
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 had moved to
this
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 region, boosting the regional economy and reduced the gap between urban and local development. In conclusion, I
reck on
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reckon
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 the
government
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’s intervention is necessary to solve the problem,
such
Linking Words
 as population concentration in the cities, soaring housing
prices
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, and the slowing of
local
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the local
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 economy.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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