IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Everyone should stay in school until the age of eighteen. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#school #age #eighteen
It is often said that if you want to succeed in life, you need a proper
education
. While there may be arguments for making
school
 compulsory until the
age
 of 18 , I disagree that
this
 should apply to everyone. Perhaps the strongest reason for not leaving
school
 early is that it prepares you for your working career. If you leave
school
 early with only a basic
education
, you are unlikely to be able to find any skilled work. Indeed, the
education
 you receive between the ages of 16 and 18 is crucial for anyone who does not want a lifetime of unskilled work in a factory. Another compelling reason for remaining in
school
 until 18 is that
school
 provides moral and social
education
 too.
This
 is particularly important for
people
 between 16 and 18 who have many temptations and benefit from the organised framework that
school
 provides. Young
people
 who stay in
school
 until the
age
 of 18
tend
Change the verb form
tends
show examples
 to be more responsible and help build a stronger society. There are,
however
, equally strong arguments against making
school
 compulsory until the
age
 of 18.One
such
 argument is that not everyone is academic and that some
people
 benefit more from vocational training.
For instance
, someone who wants to become a car mechanic may find better training and more satisfaction in an apprentice scheme. Another related argument is that, in today's world, young
people
 are maturing ever more quickly and are able to make their own life decisions by the
age
 of 16. To my mind, everyone should be encouraged to stay in
school
 until 18 both for social and career reasons.
However
, I believe it would be a mistake to make
this
 compulsory bearing in mind that different
people
 have different needs and abilities and the possibilities of other forms of vocational training.
Submitted by jason on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: