All education and healthcare should be funded by government and free for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give your reasons and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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There is a belief that the government should fund all education and healthcare,
thus
making it costless for everyone in need.
This
essay completely agrees with
this
statement. In my experience, I will prove how privately owned educational institutions are limiting potential discoveries and disabled people are in great need of governmental financial support. In my opinion, private education creates a gap between social classes and takes the opportunity of millions of people to acquire desirable knowledge. My story is a wonderful example of it. A couple of years ago I was doing research about ancient Egypt.
While
I was working on my paper, I stumbled across one book that could hypothetically prove my thesis. That was truly great luck to find it,
however
,
this
book was in a collection of a local private university. I contacted them asking for an opportunity to use it for my research, but they refused to give me a chance. Their main arguments were that every single student of theirs was paying a huge amount of money to school funding purely for access to resources and it would be against their policy to give any of their copies for free. I would be able to finish my studies without a problem if the government were paying the school to keep their archive accessible for everyone. Unfortunately, education is not the only field that suffers
due to
lack of funds. Hospitality is
also
one of them. My grandmother became disabled three years ago after she had a stroke. It was not only an awful tragedy for our family, but
therefore
a huge financial burden. Many essential medical pressurises were only available in private clinics and if we include the consistency with which my grandmother needed them, the
overall
price for it was astonishingly high. My relatives were forced to work twice as hard as they used to just to cover a fraction of those bills.
Nevertheless
, we are privileged enough to be able to do it, but the majority of people don’t have
this
luxury. There are a lot of individuals that can barely meet their own needs and I am not even talking about taking care of a disabled person. I believe the state should support their citizens in
such
hard life situations
such
as my grandmother’s. To summarise everything, schooling and medical assistance are fundamental human rights that should be available to everyone, regardless of their socioeconomic status. Limited access to either of them can result in a disruption in society
as well as
a decrease in
overall
well-being among the population. As a society, we should constantly take steps towards progress and improvement, and by making those important areas of welfare free I strongly believe that we are moving in the right direction.
Submitted by msvictoriabuts on

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task achievement
Your essay contains clear and comprehensive ideas, but to achieve a higher band, consider enriching your arguments with more nuanced points exploring different perspectives. For instance, while you brilliantly discussed the drawbacks of private education and the financial burden of healthcare through personal stories, it could be beneficial to also address potential counterarguments, such as the feasibility and sustainability of government-funded models.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, focus on ensuring smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Using linking phrases can help guide the reader through your arguments seamlessly.
task achievement
You provide relevant and specific examples that support your main points very effectively. This adds persuasive power to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction sets a clear context for your argument and your conclusion effectively summarizes your points, which contributes to a high score for coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Your logical structure is sound, and the essay flows in a natural, easy-to-follow manner, which aids in reader comprehension.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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