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Band 5

"Prevention is better tha cure". Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invet in preventive measures. To what extent do you agree.

#prevention #tha #cure #diseases #invet #measures
Over the past few decades, the consequence of bad habitat patterns
is increase
Change the verb form
is increased
show examples
. Even though, Knowing the benefits of
prevention
action
Replace the word
activities
show examples
 are helpful to reduce the diseases spread between
people
. From my point of view, I agree that
prevention
 is important for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthy living,
however
,
this
 essay will discuss
this
 point of improving our health and clarify it is better than cure. Generally,
prevention
 measures could be useful for
people
 to be alert when any person feel something wrong on
body
Add an article
the body
show examples
 to get medical treatment early, and I think it is important to improve the health
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
people
 by pervasive between
people
 healthy culture.
In addition
, the government has
important
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an important
show examples
 role to improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports activities to increase
number
Change the article
the number
show examples
 of users
these
Change preposition
of these
show examples
 activities.
Thus
, it will affect
for
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apply
show examples
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
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 life for
people
 in the future.
On the other hand
, the activities
center
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centre
show examples
 for
community
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the community
a community
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 can make many camping for spread awareness between
people
 for
eat
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eating
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 healthy food.
Therefore
, it is very important to control
spread
Correct article usage
the spread
show examples
 and appearance
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 a new disease like
Correct article usage
the corona
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corona virus
Correct your spelling
coronavirus
show examples
.
For instance
, when community
center
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centre
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 hosts many events to encourage practice sport in
early
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the early
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 morning for youngest and elder, it will be affected in a long time for healthy
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 pattern. In conclusion, I totally agree with the statement that taking in considering for
prevention
 measures
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is always to a better way for
people
 to stay an away from diseases and can save a lot of money spend on
cure
Add an article
a cure
the cure
show examples
.
Nevertheless
, the government should
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
invest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 research and development sector health to
safety
Add an article
the safety
show examples
 of
this citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
these citizens
show examples
.
Submitted by arch.mohammedzaki on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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