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Band 4.5

The world should have only one government rather than a national government for each country. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#world #government #country #outweigh
Nowadays, in the complex
world
, every
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
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 have their own national governments who have authority to take responsibility of ruling their own nations within their territories. Some experts suggest that the whole
world
 should be ruled by only
one
government
. Before taking
Add an article
a side
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side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
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,
Correct article usage
a details
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details
Replace the word
detailed
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 comparison of both benefits and drawbacks is necessary. Having
one
government
 for the whole
world
 can lead to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 leap forward
development
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in development
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 because all nations will become
one
. All policies, laws and regulations should
be make
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be made
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 in order to achieve the same destination. Every
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
show examples
 will do whatever they can to reach that goal.
For instance
, if the
government
 has a policy about developing
in
Change preposition
apply
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technology, every
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
show examples
 will coordinate with each other to improve their abilities. Ruling under
single
Add an article
a single
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government
, each country can use the idea that originated by other
countries
 for
further
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
. It will save time and energy resources.
Moreover
, any conflicts of laws relating to the difference of boundary can be automatically removed.
However
, if the whole
world
 have only
one
government
, the diversity of
countries
 in the
world
 will be demolished. All cultures, language, foods which managed by the same organization will turn into the same.
Therefore
, people will no longer enjoy
traveling
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travelling
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 in various
countries
 because there
is
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are
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 no more interesting things to be discovered.
In addition
, some problems need to be solved by variety
opinions
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of opinions
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 and the
facts
Fix the agreement mistake
fact
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 that no
one
 knows
no
Remove the redundancy
apply
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one
 knows how to solve their problems better
that
Correct your spelling
than
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 their own nation cannot be replaced. Having considered
this
 matter carefully, even though the whole
world
 can be ruled by
single
Add an article
a single
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government
, the diversity of
government
 should be applied.
Submitted by Varaiphand on

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • centralized policies
  • international cooperation
  • global economy
  • trade barriers
  • military spending
  • authoritarian control
  • cultural diversity
  • national identities
  • local issues
  • homogenized
  • decision-making
  • democratic representation
  • world peacekeeping force
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