IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

working while study as internship with no pay has more advantages or has more disadvantages.

#study #internship #pay
companies often recruit interns in order to reap the benefits of free workers who will not be paid. for those who
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
 in
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
positions
Add a comma
,positions
show examples
 there are some advantages and disadvantages and I reckon the profits overweight the drawbacks which I am going to argue in
this
 essay.
to begin
 with, the importance of gaining knowledge in professions is undeniable.
however
, almost everyone who has adopted a
job
 as a way of living, expect to get paid for what they are doing.
for instance
, an engineer, an artist, a baker or a carpenter request money from their
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
show examples
 for any type of services that have been exposed. whilst, sometimes
job
 seekers have to work as an intern
whom
Change the pronoun
who
show examples
 does not get paid in exchange of working in order to obtain an adequate amount of professionalism together with knowledge.
as a result
, applicants for these occupations might feel of being compelled to conduct a mandatory
job
 and
subsequently
job
 dissatisfaction will occur.
on the other hand
, we should consider that internship does not
last
 long and as soon as the volunteers for
internship
Correct article usage
the internship
show examples
 reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an acceptable level of capability of operating, a more reliable and better
job
 with sufficient salary awaits. to take Tabriz tile company as an example, they hire about 80% of their interns with reasonable contracts. in conclusion, working for no money could be uncomfortable but it paves the way for a better future profession with higher income and I think the benefits of being an intern would
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the difficulties.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: