Một số người cho rằng quảng cáo nhắm vào trẻ em nên bị cấm. Tới mức nào bạn đồng ý hay không đồng ý?

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Nowadays, media and marketing have become a part of our daily life that play a role in affecting human shopping habits and decisions.

Although

Linking Words

advertising aimed at

children

Use synonyms

is more and more popular in the world, it is argued that those advertisements should be banned. In my opinion, I strongly support

this

Linking Words

view and my reasons will be explained in the

Linking Words

paragraph.

Firstly

Linking Words

Children

Use synonyms

are the objects that advertisements can adversely dominate their interests as well as their

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

Although

Linking Words

some

products

Use synonyms

advertised positively affect

children

Use synonyms

, those

products

Use synonyms

often do not bring as huge profits as unhealthy and harmful

products

Use synonyms

like fast food, plastic toys.

Therefore

Linking Words

, companies manufacturing

products

Use synonyms

for

children

Use synonyms

choose to invest a large amount of money for these ads because they are economically efficient. The attractive and vivid advertisements with a dense number of appearances interrupting movies and songs will make

children

Use synonyms

unconsciously watch them

then

Linking Words

become attracted.

This

Linking Words

leads to the kids having impulsive desires to eat or play something.

In addition

Linking Words

Correct your spelling

children

children's

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

are easily addicted to unhealthy foods

such

Linking Words

as fried food, sweets, which make eating habits disordered and directly impact

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the physical and mental development of

children

Use synonyms

Secondly

Linking Words

, families' financial crises are

also

Linking Words

a result of advertising aimed at

children

Use synonyms

. The kids will find ways to demand their

parents

Use synonyms

to buy items they want like screaming, crying or even violent acts. As a consequence, their

parents

Use synonyms

are forced to complete their wishes so they don't have to meet those problems anymore. Some

parents

Use synonyms

have to take loans from other people to afford those things and eventually face a crucial crisis. In conclusion, it is believed that commercial advertising has adverse effects on the child's habits and can be the

reasons

Fix the agreement mistake

reason

show examples

for being in debt for a number of

parents

Use synonyms

Submitted by bhnguyen.21298 on Tue Oct 12 2021

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

297 words

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Một số người cho rằng quảng cáo nhắm vào trẻ em nên bị cấm. Tới mức nào bạn đồng ý hay không đồng ý?

Your opinion

There are fewer controls over the design and construction of home and office building. So, people can build them however they like. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages ?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environments, such as the South Pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh disadvantages?