Một số người cho rằng quảng cáo nhắm vào trẻ em nên bị cấm. Tới mức nào bạn đồng ý hay không đồng ý?

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Nowadays, media and marketing have become a part of our daily life that play a role in affecting human shopping habits and decisions.

Although

advertising aimed at

children

is more and more popular in the world, it is argued that those advertisements should be banned. In my opinion, I strongly support

this

view and my reasons will be explained in the

paragraph.

Firstly

Children

are the objects that advertisements can adversely dominate their interests as well as their

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

Although

some

products

advertised positively affect

children

, those

products

often do not bring as huge profits as unhealthy and harmful

products

like fast food, plastic toys.

Therefore

, companies manufacturing

products

for

children

choose to invest a large amount of money for these ads because they are economically efficient. The attractive and vivid advertisements with a dense number of appearances interrupting movies and songs will make

children

unconsciously watch them

then

become attracted.

This

leads to the kids having impulsive desires to eat or play something.

In addition

Correct your spelling

children

children's

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

are easily addicted to unhealthy foods

such

as fried food, sweets, which make eating habits disordered and directly impact

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the physical and mental development of

children

Secondly

, families' financial crises are

also

a result of advertising aimed at

children

. The kids will find ways to demand their

parents

to buy items they want like screaming, crying or even violent acts. As a consequence, their

parents

are forced to complete their wishes so they don't have to meet those problems anymore. Some

parents

have to take loans from other people to afford those things and eventually face a crucial crisis. In conclusion, it is believed that commercial advertising has adverse effects on the child's habits and can be the

reasons

Fix the agreement mistake

reason

show examples

for being in debt for a number of

parents

Submitted by bhnguyen.21298 on Tue Oct 12 2021

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

297 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Một số người cho rằng quảng cáo nhắm vào trẻ em nên bị cấm. Tới mức nào bạn đồng ý hay không đồng ý?

Your opinion

Many people say we should invest more in space industry while others say we should spend that money on other purposes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Because the modern technology, it is no longer necessary for people to learn handwriting skill, but others believe that handwriting is still an important skill. Discuss both sides and give your opinion base on your experience.

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe that they should be free to work in another country if they wish.

Thanks to developments in technology, many people today have lost basic skills such as how to repair clothes, etc. Why is this happening? Do you think that this is a negative development?

Some people think that people should choose their job based on income in order to provide security for their family. Do you think money is an important factor when choosing a job? What other factors should be considered?