The concept of success has varying interpretations. Some individuals attribute success to hard work and determination, while others emphasize factors such as wealth and physical appearance as being more influential. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some
people
argue that the definition of success
is contributed to a hard-working and determined attitude
, the others consider that affluence and appearance
are the symbols of success
. In my opinion, a hard and determined attitude
are the main elements toward to
Change preposition
apply
success
.
On the one hand, people
consider richness
and appearance
to be more effective since it give an objective criterion of success
. Firstly
, the number defines the standard of richness
. Richness
is an abstract concept, however
, with numbers, it give people
an idea of more and less, therefore
, numbers become a standard to define richness
. Similar to appearance
, people
buy luxury to show their consuming capability, which also
draws a standard and gives an impression of affluence. For instance
, a lady carrying a Hermes Kelly bag, we will intuitively think she is wealthy enough to afford a million hand-carry bag.
On the other hand
, a hard-working and determined attitude
are indispensable personal traits leading to success
. First of all, hard-working represent that focus on the target and put into all the effort. Many people
face mistakes or failure instead
of finding solutions, they just give up. They do not focus on goals and trying their best is the major reason why they cannot achieve success
. Secondly
, a determined attitude
is an execution ability. A lot of people
are indecisive, in particular
in making decisions. A person who is determined will make decisions after careful consideration, and make a move, which leads to success
.
In conclusion, I believe that a hard-working and determined attitude
is an indispensable personal trait leading to success
, although
richness
and appearance
give an objective criterion of success
.Submitted by cuggikem on
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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the two views and your own opinion without getting into the details of the argument. Your current introduction can be more focused.
task achievement
When discussing both views, dedicate one body paragraph to each view, ensuring a clear distinction between the two positions.
task achievement
Develop your main points with clear and specific examples to better illustrate your arguments and increase the persuasiveness of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating more sophisticated connections between your ideas. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
In the conclusion, summarize the key points of both views and restate your own opinion more emphatically and concisely.
