IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Urbanisation has meant that more and more families are raising their children in the city; however, the countryside is a far better environment to bring up children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

#urbanisation #families #children #city #countryside #environment
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The flourishing of cities attracts people to be living. More and more people tend to raise their children in urban areas, whereas some think the environment of the rural area should be suited to the growing up of youth. In my opinion, I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, and the following examples will be provided to support my point of view. One of the most important reasons is that most of the excellent academic institutes are in the big cities,
therefore
Linking Words
 they would be more beneficial to offspring's future, especially for their career's
life
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, according to the recent news, it has been revealed the top ten rank of world universities which clearly see 90% of them a place in the capital metropolis,
as a result
Linking Words
, the number of graduated persons tends to have a high salary job or tend to work in parent companies. High education would be the advantage of raising children in the city. Another significant reason is that most of the good facilities are provided in civilised cities, which would develop vital
life
Use synonyms
 intelligence for children
such
Linking Words
 as interpersonal
skills
Use synonyms
, problem-solving intelligence, communication
skills
Use synonyms
 or critical thinking.
This
Linking Words
 is because urbanisation is likely to be a more complicated society than remote areas whether in terms of people or communities. So, raising up youngsters in the city would enhance
life
Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
 which could adapt in various situations in their future lives. In conclusion, Bringing up teenagers in an urban city has more benefits, like better education and
life
Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
;
however
Linking Words
, other factors
such
Linking Words
 as family's economic, individual family lifestyle would be considered by parents.
Submitted by boon.suchaya on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: