Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

From many years ago, it has been controversial, if is it reasonable to share
information
of critical fields like science or business without any limit on a vast scale? Because some of them are too valuable to be published freely. like any important matter, we are witnessing two groups who are arguing over
this
one as well, and both groups have noticeable reasons that are worth hearing. So,
this
essay will take these arguments under examination, considering the agreement of the writer with those who believe
data
does not belong to everyone. At
first
, let us take a closer look at opponents’ reasoning about free access. It is commonly argued that publishing
data
without any consideration put the whole
world
in
Correct your spelling
is

The word in doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun danger in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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great danger. They say that we are living in the age of
information
and technology, so everything may change by pressing a single button. It is pointed out, numerous strict borders must be determined when we are aware that a little valuable
data
in the wrong hands, could be the needed spark for the beginning of the
next
world
war. Another factor to consider is governments or institutes have spent enormous money on research or studies that
information
came from,
thus
it is crystal clear that they do not tend to share them with the rest of the nations at all.
As a result
, keeping knowledge hidden is
main
Add an article
the main
a main

The noun phrase main part seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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part of rising the momentum on the development contest that had begun before the cold war.
On the other hand
,
advocators
Change preposition
as advocators

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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of a wide range of access
claim
Fix the agreement mistake
claims

It seems that claim may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, we should put obsolete beliefs away and try to understand the new situation. In another word, they are suggesting a united
world
that will not be weak by geographical divisions or national prejudice, by the time that all countries accept the necessity of the union. To illustrate, if all doctors have equal access to
last
medical discoveries worldwide, they are more likely to save more lives compared to a situation that some countries
have
Correct pronoun usage
that have

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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monopoly in medical improvements. In fact, they
also
have accepted we are living in an age that has been formed based on
data
and figures but, they have severe disagreement with creating a monopoly with these achievements. To conclude,
however
Add the comma(s)
,however

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the interrupter however. Consider adding the comma(s).

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there is a debate over what actions should be taken about
data
sharing, I firmly believe it is not hard to distinguish the right way from the wrong one, because nowadays
information
is the most valuable thing in
whole
Change the article
the whole

It appears that the phrase whole world does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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world
, and we should try to keep it safe as much as possible in the right hands in
favor
Change the spelling
favour

The spelling of favor is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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of keeping universal peace.
Submitted by bigblackbear1996 on

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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