Tourism is encouraged in many countries. Does tourism bring more advantages or disadvantages in a country

#tourism #countries #country

Nowadays, working for long

hours

fairly

Add a missing verb

is fairly

show examples

common. While staying for

long

Change the article

a long

show examples

time means

higher

Add an article

a higher

show examples

salary and with

money

Add a comma

,money

show examples

humans can buy everything, I believe that the drawbacks of working for

long

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a long

show examples

time

Change the verb form

are

show examples

far more.

This

essay will highlight

positive

Correct article usage

the positive

show examples

and negative effects of working for long

hours

. On the one hand, the merit point of staying from nine to five at

work places

Correct your spelling

workplaces

show examples

is that we receive more income. Some adults especially fathers believe that

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apply

show examples

we came from

poor

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a poor

show examples

background

Fix the agreement mistake

backgrounds

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, we did not have enough

money

to purchase

bike

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bikes

show examples

and tolls, it was hard

years

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year

show examples

for us but we have been allowing that it will

be happened

Change to the active voice

happen

have happened

show examples

again for our kids.

Thus

, we work as hard as we can to increase the standard level of our life.

According

Add the preposition

toAccording

show examples

what said

wealthy

Add an article

the wealthy

a wealthy

show examples

man in his book, my kid needed my wealth to be happy in their life. If I purchased whatever he likes and makes him excited, it will be possible that he is never realizing my empty space at home.

On the other hand

, it is clear that spending long

hours

office

Add an article

the office

show examples

and working for long

hours

equal more and more

money

and improving our business but having leisure activity is essential. It is undeniable that

money

might buy

modern

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a modern

the modern

show examples

car

Fix the agreement mistake

cars

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and luxury

house

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houses

show examples

however

, it never purchased happiness. From

psychological

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a psychological

show examples

perspective, children

who

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whom

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their parents put some

hours

to do some leisure activities with their kids

such

as playing

game

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the game

a game

show examples

, going to park or having

small

Add an article

a small

show examples

journey, would be more successful. In more detail, sometimes all the thing which family members want is that they get together and have fun. In my experience family’s relationship is more important than

money

. To conclude,

although

working for long

hours

has several advantages, it seems to me that its disadvantages outweigh

advantages

Correct article usage

the advantages

show examples

Submitted by aminpost on Wed Oct 13 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

302 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Tourism is encouraged in many countries. Does tourism bring more advantages or disadvantages in a country

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays, most countries can improve the standard of living through economic development, but so are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of this phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages?

Differences between countries become less evident each year. Nowadays, all over the world, people share the same fashions, advertising, brands, eating habits and TV channels. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of this?

In the past, knowledge was contained in books , Nowadays is uploaded to the internet. Do the advantages pf this outweigh the advantages

Nowadays many students have the opportunity to study for part or all of their courses in foreign countries. While studying abroad brings many benefits to individual students, it also has a number of disadvantages. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that music plays an important role in society. Others think it is simply a form of entertainment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.