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Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#technology #people #cellphone #security #cameras #cases #development
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In the modern age, we are witnessing a severe rise in the incidence of technology miss abusing day by day. In fact, People’s behaviour and conversations are being observed through mobile phones and other smart devices without their permission.
This
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 essay has been written considering that the writer believes these innovations have more benefits than drawbacks. An argument commonly put forward is that intelligent gadgets are gathering users’ private information and spying on us for the government all the time.
In other words
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, they assume silicon valley corporations have an unbreakable partnership with intelligence organizations like the CIA for submitting data of citizens’ personal life.
Therefore
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, they claim it is best for everybody to stop using these devices and developing them for good in favour of keeping our lives secure.
However
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, I firmly condemn these actions and believe it is explicit violence of user rights, but there are numerous significant features in using them that improve people’s daily life. We should keep in mind that some revolutionary inventions like smartphones have made our lives much more straightforward than ever!
For instance
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, if the situation made you work or study abroad, you can still be in touch with your loved ones by skype or another similar service. But if you wanted to communicate as fifty years ago, you would face uncountable obstacles for a simple correspondence.
Moreover
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, some developing security areas like CCTV (security cameras) or fireproofing prevented various crimes and unintentional disasters. I would
therefore
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 argue that I do not find opponents’ arguments stand up to scrutiny;
thus
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, we should keep improving technological facilities and embrace a few disadvantages as normal issues that will come with any progress.
Submitted by bigblackbear1996 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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