Do you agree with gun possession to protect people?

#gun #possession #people

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In contemporary society, the surge in criminal activities, some culminating in

tragic

Add an article

the tragic

a tragic

show examples

loss of life, has ignited discussions about the merits of legalizing personal

gun

ownership as a means of

self-defense

Change the spelling

self-defence

show examples

However

, I contend that

such

a move would exacerbate the problem, escalating the violence associated with crimes and compromising the ability of

law

enforcement

to ensure public safety. To commence, allowing widespread public access to

firearms

would inevitably amplify the

overall

crime rate. Presently, the stringent regulations surrounding private

gun

ownership in many countries act as a deterrent, resulting in fewer instances of

gun

-related incidents.

Conversely

, if governments were to relax these regulations, it is foreseeable that

criminals

would increasingly resort to threatening or using

firearms

to accomplish their objectives.

Consequently

, the prevalence of

gun

possession would lead to a surge in more severe and deadly criminal activities.

Moreover

, the widespread availability of guns poses a significant challenge to

law

enforcement

agencies. Traditionally, the exclusive possession of

firearms

by the police serves as a deterrent, discouraging potential

criminals

However

, if individuals were permitted to possess guns,

criminals

would be emboldened, leading to a situation where

law

enforcement

loses its intrinsic authority.

Criminals

armed with

firearms

would not only be more defiant but

also

pose a direct threat to the police during criminal activities.

Consequently

, the very essence of

law

enforcement

's ability to guarantee public safety would be severely undermined. In conclusion,

while

proponents of widespread

gun

ownership argue for increased personal safety, the reality is that it would likely escalate the severity of crimes and compromise the effectiveness of

law

enforcement

Therefore

, I firmly believe that allowing civilians access to

firearms

for personal protection is not a viable solution to the complex issue of rising crime rates.

Submitted by artical5er7 on Mon Jan 29 2024

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Task Achievement

While you've composed a coherent and logically structured essay, consider incorporating more specific examples to strengthen your main points. This could involve citing statistical data, real-world scenarios where a high prevalence of guns has led to increased crime, or referencing countries with effective gun control as a contrast.

Coherence and Cohesion

To enhance coherence, create smoother transitions between paragraphs using a variety of linking words and phrases. Although the overall structure is logical, aim for even clearer connections between ideas to guide the reader effortlessly through your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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Do you agree with gun possession to protect people?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Levels of consumer debt are increasing across the world. To address this, a new subject should be introduced in secondary schools: how to manage personal finances. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Some people think that family has the most powerful influence on a child’s development, while others think that other factors such as television, friend, music have the biggest effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

In the past, the main role of teachers was providing information. Today with various sources of information available to students, teachers have no role in modern education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Childood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia as many as two thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsilbility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extend do you agree to this statement?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.