IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations

#world #life #expectancy #individuals #society #measures #impact #populations
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In many emerged counties, the expected average life duration has increased. But,
this
Linking Words
 has adverse effects on individuals and society at the same time. A few of these impacts and measures to cure the same
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 has been discussed in the following paragraphs. An increase in life expectancy necessarily means the older population in the country which directly impacts the employment rates for the upcoming generations. Higher age expectancy will provoke the government to employ its citizens for a longer period of time which ultimately will consume its resources which
otherwise
Linking Words
, would have been used to create more employments for a new generation. Other than
this
Linking Words
, as a society, it will create a huge burden on natural resources available. As the death rates will steep, more land will be required to occupy the bursting population.
Thus
Linking Words
, ultimately leading to the depletion of forest land.
For example
Linking Words
, according to the national survey, humans are cutting 500 trees with everyone minute that passes by.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, there are some measures which if taken, will reduce the impact of
this
Linking Words
 adversity.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the retirement age should be decreased by at least 5 years as it will vacant the job seats for the upcoming generation faster and
hence
Linking Words
, will lift the employment rate.
Secondly
Linking Words
, innovative real estate plans and techniques should be provoked by the private and government firms as it will help to solve the problem of accommodating the growing population by judiciously consuming available natural resources.
Finally
Linking Words
, the government should invest extensively in health infrastructure and make it affordable for all especially, for the older people as with time, they will have lesser means of income and more dependency on retirement perks. In the end, problems and measures stated in the above paragraphs can help developed countries to tackle the situation with well-formulated policies and can lead them to a brighter future.
Submitted by maninderpal030 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • average life expectancy
  • developed world
  • increase
  • individuals
  • society
  • personal goals
  • ambitions
  • quality of life
  • leisure
  • recreation
  • healthcare costs
  • challenges
  • healthcare system
  • ageing population
  • shortage
  • available workers
  • economy
  • retirement planning
  • healthy lifestyles
  • investing
  • social support systems
What to do next:
Look at other essays: