IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that the government should provide unemployed people with a free mobile phone and free access to the internet to help them find jobs. To what extant do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #government #phone #access #internet #jobs
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It is undeniable that the world at the present
time
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 has had changed into modern society, resulting in advanced
technologies
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 are improved to use in human daily life, and some
people
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 think that these
technologies
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 can help many unemployed
people
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 to find some careers, while the governments should provide free
technologies
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, like free mobile phone and free the
Internet
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 to help them find
jobs
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. From my point of view, I agree with
this
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 statement for many reasons that will be outlined in the detail in the following paragraph. It is true to say that supporting
of
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apply
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the government not only helps unemployed
people
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 find their careers but
also
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 help them reduce
their
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the
show examples
 costs that will be spent on finding their works,
for example
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, many unemployed
people
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 will spend more and more money on fuel costs or travel expense like bus tickets.
As a result
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, if they can find some work on the
Internet
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 without travelling they will be able to reduce the expenses of travelling to find their occupations.
Additionally
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, the
Internet
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 can help
people
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 who lose their
jobs
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 to reduce a major
time
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 that will be used by travelling issues,
for instance
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, they will suffer a congestion traffic issue in the rush-hour
time
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. Resulting in employed persons have less
time
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 to find works and to
apply
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forapply
show examples
 works as well.
Furthermore
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, the
Internet
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 can increase the opportunity in terms of getting
jobs
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, compared with other methods, like newspapers. In conclusion, I strongly agree with
this
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 viewpoint because provide free
technologies
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 and free the
Internet
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 by the union can create several positive impacts for unemployed persons in many ways
such
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 as reducing some costs and increasing a chance.
Therefore
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, it is recommended that these
technologies
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 for unemployed persons to help them increase a chance
in
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of
show examples
 getting their
jobs
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, and the union should educate their citizens
use
Add the particle
to use
show examples
 these services in the right way.
Submitted by kitsanayuiyui on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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