IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life. Use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

#idea #career #fashion #careers #money #education #life #support #arguments #evidence
Involve
Replace the word
Involvement
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with
Change preposition
in
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 a range of careers and keep learning
through out
Correct your spelling
throughout
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the
Change the word
their
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 lifespan is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
fashion in
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
 world rather than
sacrifice
Wrong verb form
sacrificing
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 their life
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
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one
employer
although
, there are many arguments in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society with
regards
Fix the agreement mistake
regard
show examples
 to the pros and cons
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 trend. I will explicate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more information
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
below to elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
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 surplus facts relating to
this
. first of all, It has been trending
the pat
Replace the word
for a part-time
show examples
time
 job rather than
permanent
Add an article
a permanent
show examples
 career for
last
Correct article usage
the last
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 few decades as
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 it gives
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
much freedom
for
Change preposition
to
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 the employees other than taking responsibilities. In the
mean
Correct your spelling
meantime
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time
Add a comma
time,
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 they have the
time
 to
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
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for
Change preposition
on
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further
education
, as paper qualification is
high
Change preposition
in high
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 demand
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nowadays.
Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
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, when we engage with a
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
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time
 job definitely , we do have the
time
 for
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 employment too and
this
 will help us to increase our income and more
time
 to
cogittate
Correct your spelling
cogitate
 on our
education
 development.
Capitalize word
On
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on the other hand
, some of the people in the society think on the opposite way, they believe that people should engage with a permanent job and work with one
employer
 for a defined
time
 frame and if we do have the leisure
time
then
 only we need to focus on
further
education
. To accord
this
, they are saying if we work with the permanent employment and
full
Change the word
fully
show examples
 concentrate on our task with the responsibilities, we would be able to earn more and will be able to entitle with company benefits rather than doing different jobs.
In addition
 , They elaborate that when you work with one
employer
 , you will be entitled
for
Change the preposition
to
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 the government benefits scheme which
provide
Change the verb form
provides
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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better support than
part
Correct your spelling
a part-time
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time
employer
.
Finally
Add a comma
Finally,
show examples
 they strongly believe that you will be able to develop your
education
 qualification working as
permanent
Add an article
a permanent
show examples
 employee better than
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
 careers.
To sum up
, in the modern world, we do have
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
 opportunities compared to our past for both
education
 and employment, so I believe that people have the capacity to choose, what is the best for them,
although
 you will not get discouragement from both ways on your
education
 development, yet to think on earning gaps as recent state shows,
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
 employers are earning more money than
permanent
Add an article
the permanent
a permanent
show examples
employer
.
Submitted by nalindaliyanage on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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