Living in country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Immigrating to other countries in pursuit of happiness and prosperity is the main feature of modernity. Given that the language of the new
country
may be different from the country
of origin, some plausible social and personal problems may be aroused accordingly
. I hold the view that regardless of the benefits offered by the new society, immigrants might face numerous problems, which will be examined here.
Having spent several years in a country
with particular norms and values, one can find it hard to adapt himself
to the new culture, leading to social conflicts and issues eventually. Correct pronoun usage
apply
For instance
, being labelled as an “immigrant” a person may face an identity crisis and tension would be exerted between the foreigners and locals. The ability to speak fluently and correctly, on the other hand
, might seem hard, thus
communication in the new language with the local people seems to be complicated. An example can be seen in the workplace, where the manager requests for document preparation and the foreign employee does not get the exact details properly to include in the file, which might be followed by punishment of unemployment.
Admittedly, moving abroad could benefit people in various ways. The main positive advantage would be the higher quality of life in terms of education, leisure activities, and even social rules. For instance
, the children of a Muslim family can take advantage of the freedom that bears no comparison with the one in the original country
.
To sum up
, I firmly believe, that immigration, by and large, can pose serious stress and problems on human life despite the benefits and opportunities they can reap from. Therefore
, such
decisions should be taken wisely and thoughtfully to thwart any issues in the community and personal life collectivelySubmitted by Haniehfathi98 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a decent logical structure which shows clear progression of ideas but could benefit from more varied connective words and transitional phrases to link ideas more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both present and effectively frame your argument, yet they can be more concise and directly address the extent of your agreement or disagreement.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported, but including more specific examples and data can strengthen your arguments and provide a clearer picture to the reader.
task achievement
You have responded to the task with a clear position throughout the essay. However, make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is directly related to the task question.
task achievement
Your essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas, yet you can improve by elaborating on both sides of the argument for a more balanced view and ending with a reasoned conclusion.
task achievement
Although you provided some relevant examples, you might want to include more specific and varied examples to illustrate your points more effectively and enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.