Some people think it is more important for the government to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on the treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #lifestyle #illness #treatment

Health

has always been a topic of interest of the public. Today, there has been an arising argument that authorities should prioritize raising communal awareness about following a healthy lifestyle over providing treatment for patients, in terms of national funding. From my perspective, I lean toward

this

opinion for several reasons, which will be illustrated in

this

essay. To commence with, it is undeniable that government officials should support financially

people

who are suffering from diseases so that the

health

of not only the individuals but

also

of the community is improved.

Additionally

, it is a must for governments to care for the lives of their citizens, which includes healthcare services.

Nonetheless

this

is not an efficient strategy in the long run since the number of citizens with poor

health

will not decline, creating an economic burden for the whole nation in the future. Personally, I am convinced that investing in

health

campaigns is a more sufficient measure for the authorities to tackle

health

-related concerns as

this

eliminates the problem from its root. By doing

this

people

will gain deeper knowledge about

health

, as well as how to hinder illnesses and improve their quality of life.

For example

, learning about obesity can not only make

people

pay attention to their weight, but it

also

promotes

people

to adopt healthier eating habits and exercise more, which benefits all aspects of their lives in the long term.

As a result

, the illness rate will decrease, which reduce the financial burden of the government, leaving more money to develop other vital fields,

such

as technology or science. In conclusion,

although

it is necessary for the government to provide funds for

people

who are coping with

health

problems,

this

is not beneficial for long term national development.

Thus

, I am of the idea that public money should be used for

health

campaigns and encouraging citizens to maintain a healthy lifestyle.

Submitted by hathuylinh1806 on Fri Oct 15 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

316 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

promote
healthy lifestyle
prevent
illness
treatment
public money
government expenditure
reduce
burden
healthcare system
preventive measures
improve
well-being
invest
long-term benefits
society
necessary care
balance
address
effectively

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Some people think it is more important for the government to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on the treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?

Some think the current generation should take steps to protect the environment for the next generation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby, To what extend do you think this is a possible trend?

Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?