IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

According to certain studies, despite unprecedented growth in the international trade, poor nations have not been able to get the benefits of globalization. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

International
trade
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 has been thriving in recent years, revolutionising the way people work;
however
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, a fierce debate remains as to the
overall
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 effects of it. Despite the drawbacks to the construction of economic
’
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apply
show examples
 philosophy in developing countries, it on balance achieves positive outcomes in the aspects of increasing demand for
job
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 opportunities and boosting the local economy.
While
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 poor countries are being exposed to international
trade
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, local
companies
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 are likely to be replaced by larger international businesses as they have a more salaries and a better-organised system , which attracts both local and foreign workers. If workers are flowing into international
companies
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,
this
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 will lead to a monopoly , which international cooperation is often controlled by the market. One positive aspect can be shown that international
trade
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 can increase demand for
job
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 opportunities, especially
job
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 vacancies in different areas. Specifically, tech
companies
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 like Tesla manufacturing cars need a huge number of employees to produce from iron pieces across some heavy metals, which leads to an increasing demand for
job
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 vacancies , allowing more opportunities for local inhabitants.
Moreover
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, some
job
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 positions like packaging and delivering products at Tesla do not require outstanding certificates for education, which means people from poor nations can
also
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 take part in the industry. Another positive way is to illustrate that international
trade
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 can boost the local economy by producing higher revenue for governments. If
companies
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 from overseas establish factories to manufacture cars in poor nations,
for example
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,
this
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 generates tax for both employers and employees once they have received their salary.
In addition
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, governments are receiving higher taxes so the organisation can use
this
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 amount of revenue to help people in poor nations by establishing a censorship to support them with welfare. In conclusion, international
trade
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 has a significant impact on developing countries,
although
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 governments should create a regulatory system to monitor international businesses.

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task achievement
The introduction needs to clearly state your opinion on the topic. Make sure to mention whether you agree or disagree with the statement at the beginning.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your paragraphs have clear topic sentences that connect to your main ideas. This will help readers follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your points. For example, you can provide details about how tax revenue helps specific programs in poor nations.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view by discussing both the advantages of international trade and the potential issues it causes.
task achievement
The use of examples like Tesla shows a good understanding of how international trade can impact job opportunities.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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