In the 21st century, many women have come out of their home to become what we call working women. What are the advantages and disadvantages of women joining the workforce?

Even in the 21st century, the subject of work force's gender is still debating. Nowadays, while

women

are progressing in many careers, they are still deprived of many jobs for sexual considerations. Gone are the days that the main responsibility of a woman was nothing but doing household chores and handling childcare. The issue of working

women

has its own merits and drawbacks. On the one hand, so meaningfully having special features, like doing multi-task jobs simultaneously and being precise, has affected some employers' attitude that they believe

women

are even more qualified for some professions. As well as the provided benefits for industries,

such

women

can socialize with others and

fulfill

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fulfil

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their sense of accomplishment. Employed

women

will be more independent and have higher social status providing that they are emotionally mature.

Moreover

, thanks to the inflation and economic crisis, the massive burden of financial issues cannot be just on the shoulders of the men.

On the other hand

, some working females cannot pursue a balanced lifestyle which will result in family breakdown. If parents got used to providing more wealth by being double-income without paying attention to strengthening family values, their children would face

with

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apply

show examples

different kinds of problems. Not only cannot they be successful in school, but

also

may suffer from psychological issues caused by their loneliness. As we can see, many criminals with violent tendencies were from dysfunctional families. To sum up, being independent, socially active and developing skills are undeniable advantages of joining

women

in the financial issues.

However

, there are few disadvantages which may cause by female absence at home.

This

issue may be solved by sharing responsibilities and eliminating discrimination.

Submitted by fatemehakramii on Fri Oct 15 2021

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

277 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In the 21st century, many women have come out of their home to become what we call working women. What are the advantages and disadvantages of women joining the workforce?

Fully explain your ideas

some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. write at least 250 words

Some people think that it is good for a country's culture to import foreign movies and TV programmes. Others think that it is better to produce these locally. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?