An increasing trend nowadays is for young adults to play computer games. Some people say this is a negative development. Discuss and give your opinion.

There can be little doubt that more and more
people
are becoming addicted to computer
games
and
this
is especially true for young
adults
. My view is
this
is a dangerous development for both
society
and the
people
concerned. The dangers to
society
of computer gaming addiction among young
adults
are clear. There is strong evidence to show that there is a connection between violent crime and playing
games
that do not respect human life. It has been shown
for instance
that while there is little harm in a few hours of recreational gaming a week,
people
who spend many hours a day at their gaming consoles are much more likely to commit crimes.
This
is particularly true of young men in their twenties and thirties who are typically the section of
society
who become most addicted to
games
. The problems that too much gaming can cause young
adults
as individuals are equally apparent. One particular problem is that they are at a stage of life when they need to concentrate on establishing relationships and perhaps starting families. Again there is evidence to show that
people
who play too many
games
find it more difficult to build a lasting relationship and if they do, they provide a poor example to their children. Another set of problems that gaming addiction can cause in
this
age bracket is at work.
This
is because too much gaming can cause loss of concentration and that in turn can lead to reduced efficiency in the workplace.
This
is of course a problem for the company and may
also
lead to the individual failing to get
promotion
Add an article
a promotion
show examples
or even being fired. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
my own view is very clear. The growth of the gaming habit among young
adults
can have negative effects
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
society
as a whole and individuals both at home and at work.
Submitted by jason on

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Fully explain your ideas

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Addiction
  • Neglect
  • Academic responsibilities
  • Social interactions
  • Physical health
  • Obesity
  • Poor posture
  • Repetitive strain injuries
  • Prolonged periods of inactivity
  • Improper ergonomics
  • Desensitize
  • Real-world violence
  • Aggressive thoughts
  • Cognitive skills
  • Problem-solving
  • Strategic planning
  • Quick decision-making
  • Transferable skills
  • Educational settings
  • Professional settings
  • Social activity
  • Multiplayer games
  • Teamwork
  • Cooperation
  • Communication skills
  • Friendships
  • Escapism
  • Stress relief
  • Unwind
  • Relax
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