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An increasing trend nowadays is for young adults to play computer games. Some people say this is a negative development. Discuss and give your opinion.

#trend #adults #computer #games #people #development
There can be little doubt that more and more
people
 are becoming addicted to computer
games
 and
this
 is especially true for young
adults
. My view is
this
 is a dangerous development for both
society
 and the
people
 concerned. The dangers to
society
 of computer gaming addiction among young
adults
 are clear. There is strong evidence to show that there is a connection between violent crime and playing
games
 that do not respect human life. It has been shown
for instance
 that while there is little harm in a few hours of recreational gaming a week,
people
 who spend many hours a day at their gaming consoles are much more likely to commit crimes.
This
 is particularly true of young men in their twenties and thirties who are typically the section of
society
 who become most addicted to
games
. The problems that too much gaming can cause young
adults
 as individuals are equally apparent. One particular problem is that they are at a stage of life when they need to concentrate on establishing relationships and perhaps starting families. Again there is evidence to show that
people
 who play too many
games
 find it more difficult to build a lasting relationship and if they do, they provide a poor example to their children. Another set of problems that gaming addiction can cause in
this
 age bracket is at work.
This
 is because too much gaming can cause loss of concentration and that in turn can lead to reduced efficiency in the workplace.
This
 is of course a problem for the company and may
also
 lead to the individual failing to get
promotion
Add an article
a promotion
show examples
 or even being fired. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 my own view is very clear. The growth of the gaming habit among young
adults
 can have negative effects
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
society
 as a whole and individuals both at home and at work.
Submitted by jason on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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