some say that because many people are living much longer , the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably . to what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#say #people #age #work

Nowadays, some

people

argue , the life expectancy of many individuals is higher . So their retirement maturity from their job should

also

be increased . According to my opinion , I think that the

people

's age at which they retire from work should not be raised , I totally disagree with their argument

First

and foremost , humans after a certain age should not be able to work effectively . To illustrate , when a person gets old , its efficiency to do a job has been decreased and the younger population will be more effective in doing that jobs as compare to older ones .

In addition

, it leads to unemployment .

For instance

, even though if the old man get to retire from their job , many seats are free for toddlers to join but if they do not retire , youngsters will not be able to get any post .

However

, nobody can beat the experience of oldsters .

An elder

Correct article usage

Elder

show examples

people

should have the opportunity to spend time with their family . To demonstrate ,

nevertheless

, a person do hard work in most of their life and do not have enough time to spend with their love ones , they should have right , when they get older

then

they can be at home with family members .

Moreover

, they should have a chance to enjoy and collect good vibes in their heart . As they are totally indulged in their trial for whole day and night , they are tensed about their responsibilities , they have occasion to visit their friends and relatives and to be free from all responsibilities and tensions . In conclusion ,

although

oldsters are not able to task in a perfect way as they did when they were young , they have some point in their growth to spend with their loved ones . I totally disagree with the

people

's opinion who thought that the youth of retirement should be increased .

Submitted by kiranghuman43 on Sat Oct 16 2021

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

336 words

8.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some say that because many people are living much longer , the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably . to what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Many museums charge for admission, while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admissions to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

International tourism has brought enormous benefits to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?

Crime rate,in most countries ,is often higer in urban areas than in rural areas .why do you think that is?what can be done to reduce the problem.

Nowadays, many medical research projects are funded by private companies. In your opinion, do you think that research should be carried by private companies, individuals or government?

Some people think that the best way to broaden young people’s understanding of the world is to encourage them to travel to other countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What other measure do you think might be effective?