some say that because many people are living much longer , the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably . to what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#say #people #age #work

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays, some

people

Use synonyms

argue , the life expectancy of many individuals is higher . So their retirement maturity from their job should

also

Linking Words

be increased . According to my opinion , I think that the

people

Use synonyms

's age at which they retire from work should not be raised , I totally disagree with their argument

First

Linking Words

and foremost , humans after a certain age should not be able to work effectively . To illustrate , when a person gets old , its efficiency to do a job has been decreased and the younger population will be more effective in doing that jobs as compare to older ones .

In addition

Linking Words

, it leads to unemployment .

For instance

Linking Words

, even though if the old man get to retire from their job , many seats are free for toddlers to join but if they do not retire , youngsters will not be able to get any post .

However

Linking Words

, nobody can beat the experience of oldsters .

An elder

Correct article usage

Elder

show examples

people

Use synonyms

should have the opportunity to spend time with their family . To demonstrate ,

nevertheless

Linking Words

, a person do hard work in most of their life and do not have enough time to spend with their love ones , they should have right , when they get older

then

Linking Words

they can be at home with family members .

Moreover

Linking Words

, they should have a chance to enjoy and collect good vibes in their heart . As they are totally indulged in their trial for whole day and night , they are tensed about their responsibilities , they have occasion to visit their friends and relatives and to be free from all responsibilities and tensions . In conclusion ,

although

Linking Words

oldsters are not able to task in a perfect way as they did when they were young , they have some point in their growth to spend with their loved ones . I totally disagree with the

people

Use synonyms

's opinion who thought that the youth of retirement should be increased .

Submitted by kiranghuman43 on Sat Oct 16 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

336 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
Multinational companies have become increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this method?
Multinational corporations are proliferating in developing nations, yielding both advantages and disadvantages; the advantages are that these corporations contribute to the wealth and competitiveness of the host country, whilst the disadvantages are that they pose a threat to Indigenous small industries and that they may exacerbate cultural tensions between different groups.
7
band
Some people believe that the internet has made books and libraries obsolete. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Provide reason and support with examples.
It is a common view that reading books and going to the library to explore books on various topics have now been replaced by the Internet. This essay will agree that the internet is the primary reason to make books and libraries obsolete. Easily accessible books, numerous reading materials on different topics and the availability of various leisure activities on the Internet have completely eradicated the need for going to a library.
6
band
Some countries achieve international sports by building specialized facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development, discuss both views and give your opinion.
In this competitive world, every nation wants to be at the top , especially in sports. To achieve this award, there are some governments that fully invest in coaching some specific athletes, in lieu of arranging sports facilities for all the public to get access to. Although it has some positive impacts I think its negative results overwhelmed those of positive ones, and to reduce these drawbacks it is needed to create a balance of supporting both sportsmen and the public.
6
band
In some countries, it is becoming increasingly common for people to follow a vegetarian diet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
In some nations, following a vegetarian diet is becoming more popular. Although having a vegetarian diet can help to protect animals, I believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages because they do not incorporate all the nutrients they need.
5
band
Some people believe that children that commit crimes should be punished. Others think the parents should be punished instead. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some people think that children should be punished who commit crime, meanwhile, others believe that parents need to be punished instead of their children. Although, youths are punished for their crimes, parents are responsible for their kids.

some say that because many people are living much longer , the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably . to what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Multinational companies have become increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this method?

Some people believe that the internet has made books and libraries obsolete. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Provide reason and support with examples.

Some countries achieve international sports by building specialized facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development, discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries, it is becoming increasingly common for people to follow a vegetarian diet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that children that commit crimes should be punished. Others think the parents should be punished instead. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.