Some people think that the Olympics is no longer necessary in the 21st century. ‎To what extent do you agree or disagree?‎

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The bar chart indicates
students
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charge including accommodation, food, bills and other essential payments in 1996 and 1999 in the United Kingdom. It is clear that
entertainment
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had the majority of the expenses in both years.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
,hand
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children's cost and all types of travelling had the minimum role in
students
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fees. In 1996,
entertainment
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includes over 25% of the cost while, accommodation had less than 25% and unlike
entertainment
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, accommodation saw a slight decline about 5% in 1999,
however
Linking Words
,
entertainment
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increase couple of percentage by 1999 had over 30% of
students
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charge. Another important
expenses
Replace the adjective
expense
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was
Correct your spelling
as
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food, bills and household goods, in 1996 consist 20% of all the costs but, in 1999, saw a slight decrease and include less than 20%. Other topics had a negligible role in student cost in both years ,
for example
Linking Words
, essential or nonessential
travels
Fix the agreement mistake
travel
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had a total
10
Change preposition
of 10
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% of all
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
show examples
in 1996 even though, essential travelling growth approximately 5% in 1999. one of the unique topics was having a child in 1996, a small percentage of
students
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had children's expenses which was about 1%
however
Linking Words
, in 1999, there wasn't any children's expense for
students
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by hesam.masoud.ielts on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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